


Being Vulnerable (With You)

by m0nst3rgh0ul



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Boys In Love, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles, Togami Byakuya Has Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:01:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 30,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m0nst3rgh0ul/pseuds/m0nst3rgh0ul
Summary: Okay so! This is an rp I did with a friend, and we decided to import it over to ao3 in case anyone wanted to read it! For context's sake, the story takes place a few days after the first trial.
Relationships: Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 25
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so! This is an rp I did with a friend, and we decided to import it over to ao3 in case anyone wanted to read it! For context's sake, the story takes place a few days after the first trial.

Byakuya sat at the table in the library, sipping his coffee and reading one of the more bearable novels there. It was a fictional story of a woman in the 1800s who had married rich but has a torturous affection for her childhood friend who comes from no background and is a woman. It was a more... romantic book than he typically preferred, but Byakuya was not choosy when it came to books, and although it may hit a little too close to home, it was a better selection than the endless rows of murder mysteries that seemed to be in poor taste.

-

Makoto seemed to have been walking down the hallway, noticing the door to the library had been cracked. His curiosity gets the better of him as he pokes his head in the door, noticing the much taller blonde sitting at the desk,”Oh, Byakuya! ..What are you doing?”

He walks into the library, looking at him with a hint of a smile. “What are you reading? It seems like it’s something new everyday..”

-

Lifting his eyes from the page, he found the source of his odd book selection today.

"Makoto." He closed the book, somewhat avoiding the subject. "Nothing interesting," Byakuya said, as he moved to put the novel back onto the shelf. Seizing the opportunity to end the conversation as soon as possible, the heir asked "Why are you here?" ice edging on his words.

-

He doesn’t let his icy words bother him as he watches him get up, trying to get a glimpse of the cover.

“I saw that the door was cracked, and was curious as to why. I figured it’d have been you.” He seems unconvinced that he hadn’t been interested in the book, as he seemed entirely engrossed when he opened the door.

“..Well what was it about? The book, I mean.”

-

Hastening his pace towards the bookshelf, Byakuya ignored the blush rising on his cheeks and tried to find the space where he had gotten the book from. He did not want to be talking to Makoto or making useless one-sided bonds. He definitely did not want to get called out by Makoto for his admittedly self-indulgent book choice.

"History of the stock market. It seemed interesting, but really it's nothing worth your time," he lied.

-

His blatant change in demeanor only makes him all the more curious, seeming skeptical of whether or not that book was really about the history of the stock market.

“I would think you would know all about stocks at this point... You’ve even told me about your day trading expertise!” 

He thinks a bit with a slight playful smirk, catching up to the much taller affluent progeny and trying to snatch the book from him.

-

Seeing the tiny student try to grab the book so far above him brought a smile to Byakuya's face without his consent. It was a terrible, truly awful reminder that the person he was supposed to hate was so precious. As if he needed to be tortured any more in here, someone decided to put in an adorable Lucky Student that had somehow caught the heir's affections. In a split second of Togami being distracted by his own self-pity, Makoto managed to grab the book away from him.

-

He seems awfully proud of himself, looking down at the book with a bit of a smile as he reads the back cover. 

“This is definitely not about stocks, but it sounds like a good st-“

He looks back up at him mid-sentence, his face starting to heat up from his smile. He can’t recall if he’s ever seen him smile like that.

“..-ry..” His affections had gotten the better of him. Way to go Makoto, you’re smitten for a guy way out of your league, he thought to himself. He never noticed how nice his smile was until then, which only caused his face to heat up even more.

-

He shook himself out of his temporary distraction, willing himself to shut down the conversation.

"You know, last I remember, I told you we had nothing left to talk about." There. That should do it. That'll shut him up, Get him out of Byakuya's hair, and hopefully leave these feelings to die in a hole somewhere, so Byakuya can actually focus.

-

He knows Byakuya better than he thinks that he does, he looks to the book that was on the shelf before grabbing it.

“..Hey, Byakuya..?”

-

"What do you want now?" His voice was full of disgust, glare locked onto his face, and yet the other boy just couldn't seem to take the goddamn hint! At this rate, he was going to have to chase him with a stick just to make sure Makoto doesn't insist on meaningless small talk.

-

He walks up to the desk and places the book down in front of him on the desk. He tries to keep a friendly smile despite Byakuya’s incessant berating.

“..Tell me about this book. What made you pick it out of everything here?” It was a genuine question, but he was using this as an excuse not to leave. He refused to.

-

Byakuya sighed, more exhausted than any annoyed scoff he'd meant to give. Briefly weighing his options, he decided on a vague half-truth that should keep the luckster satisfied.   
"It seemed like an interesting and relatable premise." Wait. Shit.

-

He doesn’t seem to catch what he said at first, nodding a bit as he looks down at the book. He thinks a bit more before his head perks up once again.

“A relatable premise? But this book is about..” He’s as dense as you’d think him to be, lord help him.

-

"-A person who inherits a large sum of money and works closely with one of the biggest businessmen of their time," he finished, praying to God it sounded plausible. 

"What, you think I'm in unrequited homosexual love, Naegi?" He laughed.

-

His face heats up a bit at the thought, that’s exactly what he had thought as he seems a bit embarrassed. 

“..I dunno.. Maybe? That’s what I thought at first, if I’m being honest..” He immediately regretted saying that, he had already embarrassed himself in front of him enough today, he didn’t need to contribute more to it.

-

Togami just stood there, probably a little too shocked by the comment. But he had been hiding it so well. Trying to play it off as a joke, Togami laughed and looked at Naegi.

"Makoto, I'm just as straight as you are," he falsely reassured.

-

He kinda freezes up at the comment, rubbing the back of his neck a bit as he tries to brush off the blush tinging his cheeks.

“..Ah.. Well..” He awkwardly laughs a bit to himself.

-

Togami raises an eyebrow at Makoto's hesitation, refusing to let himself hope any more than that. There's no way... right?

-

He seems a little embarrassed, slightly shrugging to himself as he tries to play it off casually, in a joking manner.

“..I mean, I guess that doesn’t really make you super straight, then..-“

-

First of all, what. I mean, holy shit. Could-? Violently shoving the thoughts out of his head, the heir cleared his throat. nope, nope NOPE. 

"Well, anyways I can assure you that I did not pick up the book for that reason."

-

”..I see..” He looks down at the book once again before putting it back onto the shelf. He had become apparent that he was visibly embarrassed and.. disappointed? Is that what it was?

-

Even for someone as socially inept as himself, it was clear that Makoto's face had fallen for no apparent reason. More confusing was his sudden urge to do anything to get the smaller boy to smile again, and thus a half-baked suggestion fell out before Byakuya could think about it. 

"I need to go refill my coffee, would you like to come along?"

-

He looked up from the shelf back to Byakuya, seeming a little shocked that he had offered. He nods a bit before starting to walk towards the door.

“Oh? Well, yeah! Why not?” His slight smile had come back, though it wasn’t as bright as before. He still seems to be surprised that Togami would even entertain that idea.

-

His overwhelming thoughts of 'the entire goal of this was to chase him off,' and 'We can't afford emotional connections, this is a KILLING GAME,' all washed away as soon as he saw Makoto crack a small smile. He was being idiotic, that much was painfully clear to the heir, but a part of him broke and Byakuya concluded; 'oh, what the hell. It's just some coffee.' He moved to follow the other as the two made their way towards the cafeteria.

-


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya: feelings? gross. how do I get rid of them?

Makoto stuck close to the much taller boy as they made their way to the cafeteria. I mean, you can’t be too safe, you know? 

“You know, I wouldn’t have expected you to invite me along.”

-

Togami turned up his nose at the accusation. True, had this been before Makoto had insisted on spending time with the heir day after day, Byakuya probably wouldn't have invited him along. But now that he'd seen how Makoto really was without Byakuya's assumptions, there was something... different about him. Something more genuine than Byakuya could have ever predicted. Scoffing at the comment, he responded saying;

"Well I couldn't just leave you in there when Chihiro was in the hall. She's the only person here you would actually be capable of murdering."

-

He rolls his eyes at the thought, giving him a bit of a look out of the corner of his eye.

“One, I’m not going to kill anyone. Two, I’m stronger than you think I am..” His tone was half-joking.

-

Togami looked down at the 5'3 student next to him. Sure, maybe he would've been able to take down Sayaka, but that role had already been filled. The other girls here were athletes, or otherwise scarily intimidating. Perhaps if he was able to get Taka into a compromising situation by taking advantage of his faith in seemingly everyone, then maybe, maybe he would be able to land a hit good enough to kill him. But that would be if he was lucky. An amused smirk played at Byakuya's mouth. 

"I'm sure you are~" he toyed, words dripping in sarcasm.

-

His neutral expression changed to one of slight annoyance, looking up at 6’1 blonde. He crosses his arms.

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” He wasn’t saying this seriously, of course, but he knew he was getting teased.

-

"I see Asahina and Kyoko passed on the message," he responded coolly, not bothering to mention the countless other businessmen Makoto didn't know who had also cursed his name. 

"If I cared about being a 'jerk,' then I wouldn't be the heir to the Togami Corporation." Byakuya looked back at Makoto. "At least I'm not hopelessly naive."

-

He goes to say something against him, before quietly sighing and starting to make his way to the kitchen.

“..I wouldn’t say naive.. Now come on, let’s get your coffee.”

-

The two slowed to a stop in front of the coffee machine as Byakuya inserted the packet with the darkest roast into the machine. He took a deep breath at the smell of such a dark coffee, relaxing his face for a brief moment. It was a great, deep scent that brought him back to days of cramming business proposals filled with optimistic glee, and in that moment, feeling completely in his element. The heir looked back over at Makoto. 

"Did you want anything?"

-

He watches him start making his coffee, shaking he head and waving his hands a little as he looks back to him. 

“I’m honestly not really a coffee person, I might just get some water or something-“

-

Byakuya nodded somewhat absentmindedly as the coffee finished getting prepared. He reflexively slid the mug out from under the machine, grabbing a single sugar packet, tearing it open and stirring it into the drink.

-

”..Wait, you don’t drink your coffee entirely black? Everyone thought that you would only drink the blackest of coffee.” He slightly chuckles to himself as he watches him stir the sugar into the coffee.

-

He let out an exasperated sigh, before glaring at Makoto, but there was no real bite to it. 

"Makoto, if I wanted the terrible taste of black coffee, I would've have gone to all the trouble of making myself a cup, and eat the coffee grounds. Thankfully, I have taste."

-

He can’t help but kinda chuckle to himself, thinking a bit before going to grab a packet of hot chocolate mix from a cabinet. It seems to be a bit too high up for him, which makes him stand up on his toes. 

“You’d think with how small Monokuma is he’d make things at least a little shorter..” He muttered to himself.

-

Byakuya just stood there, amused at seeing him struggle just a bit. 

"Do you need help?" He teased, a small smile dancing across his face. Cute.

-

He ultimately sighs in defeat as he looks back over to Byakuya with a small nod.

“..I’d appreciate it.” His face slightly glowed with embarrassment, though he went to grab a mug as well.

-

Byakuya walked over to the cabinet, grabbing what he assumed Makoto was looking for, and took a look at the mix before handing it over. Monokuma's face stared back at Byakuya, this time plastered on a hot cocoa mix. A smile unconsciously spread across Byakuya's face. 

"You know, it's quite hypocritical of you to make fun of me for putting one packet of sugar in my coffee when you're having hot chocolate," Byakuya said, handing the mix to the smaller boy. He spotted a slight blush on Makoto's cheeks, which had no business making his heart buzz the way it did.

-

”Hey! Coffees just too bitter, you know?” He slightly laughs to himself, pouring the mix into the mug before filling the mug up with water.

“Also, you should try smiling more, it suits you much better than an endless scowl.” He shoots a playful look his way before going to put the mug in the microwave.

-

A frown instantly snapped back onto Byakuya's face at the comment. He hadn't even realized that he'd been smiling like an idiot, but he wasn't going to make that mistake again. He had been enjoying this all too much, so much so he'd let something like that slip. Trying to force the conversation back into the tense equilibrium, the heir poured ice into his words. 

"Hard to keep a permanent smile when you're stuck in a killing game." He took a sip of his coffee, trying to force the awful feeling inside down with it.

-

He gives him the same playful look as he waits for his hot cocoa, crossing his arms with a teaseful tone.

“Why not try to lighten the mood of it all though, right? There’s not harm in it. Besides...” His face heats up even more than it had been before, “..It’s a nice thing to see from you.”

-

Cheeks most definitely flushing at the comment, Byakuya tried his best to pull together a poker face to no avail. Why did the Lucky Student just have to be so... cute? His mind panicked and tried desperately to pull together an icy comeback that would get Makoto to leave him alone, but his mind just kept wandering. 'It's a nice thing to see from you.' Byakuya's mind began to race with traitorous thoughts, imagining being closer to Naegi, thinking back to what he said in the library, as confirmation of him being not-straight, as he put it. He imagined bringing the boy to his favorite restaurant, the awe in his so-expressive eyes shining through at a large meal. He imagined those eyes looking at him all the time. The silence that had filled the room due to the heir's overthinking was cut by the noisy beeping of the microwave.

-

He goes to quickly take the mug from the microwave, nearly dropping it as he somehow forgets the fact that if you put something in a microwave it gets hot. He sets the mug down on the counter to let it cool, looking back at Byakuya as he shuts the microwave door.

“..And about what you said in the library.. I think I can relate to that book a little too. Maybe in a different way than you, though.”

-

Had Byakuya not had years of business deals and expertise at masking his emotions, he would've spit out his coffee all across the floor. NO WAY. Composure held by a thread, the heir lifted his eyebrows ever so slightly, as if to say 'go on.'

-

His face flushed as he looked back to him, rubbing the back of his neck with a slight laugh to distract from his flustered expression.

“I mean.. I’ve been in the unrequited love situation..” As he continues his voice just gets softer and softer “..Kinda in it right now-“

-

Makoto's face was nearly fully red now, and although Byakuya prayed it wasn't, his very likely was too, not daring to move the coffee cup that was masking his face. Okay, he could be calm about this. Level headed. He just needed to say a coherent sentence, and it would be smooth sailing. 

"So, who's the lucky person?" He asked.

-

”..Lucky? Heh..” It’s almost as if his face couldn’t get any more red. He realized what a hole he had dug himself into as he shifted on his feet a bit. 

“He uh.. Well let’s just say he’s way out of my league-“

-

So it was a he, Byakuya quietly noted. But, as much as the heir was desperate for Makoto to finish his sentence, he could tell how uncomfortable the other boy was. Heaving a sigh, Byakuya walked over and placed a hand on Makoto's shoulder. 

"Hey... you don't have to tell me. You're clearly uncomfortable and I can respect that," The heir said quietly, giving a small smile he hoped looked reassuring, despite the fact that he was also incredibly desperate to hear who it really was.

-

He didn’t really expect him to do so, which only made his face flush red even more so. You’d think he was about to pass out from how red his face was.

“..Eheh.. It’s not like it’s a super big deal, I just.. I dunno if he’s even into guys.. Or if he’d see me as good enough-“

-

Jesus, Makoto was really turning red. 

"Are you feeling alright? Do you feel like you're burning up?" Byakuya asked, putting a hand on his forehead.

-

He seems totally taken off guard as he gets closer to press his hand against his forehead. His face had in fact been burning up, and he felt just a bit lightheaded.

“I’m.. I’m okay! Really just a bit.. Flustered is all.”

-

Byakuya pulled back his hand, still concerned but deciding to not push it. 

“If you say so.” Standing there, the heir finally noticed the lack of space between the two of them. Mind wandering again, he thought about what would happen if he just closed the gap-

-

He looks up at him a bit as he tries to calm himself back down, though with how close he was that doesn’t seem to help him very much.

“..My minds just been.. Wandering, I guess..”

-

For just a second, Byakuya paused. He gently put a hand underneath Makoto’s chin and pushed his head up to face him. Pausing for a second, looking for some sort of confirmation, that this was okay, and all he saw was Makoto’s eyes screaming ‘Yes.’ The heir leaned in- 

“Ahem, this is a school announcement. It is now 10pm. As such, it is officially nighttime.”


	3. Chapter 3

He freezes up once he hears the announcement, and you can see the visible disappointment in his eyes as he mumbles, almost inaudibly.

“..Goddamnit.” He face was still beyond a dark red as he didn’t want to move from the spot.

-

Byakuya snapped out of the trance with the awful bear’s announcement. The goal was to not make any connections, stay aloof and win. How did he end up like this? Snapping his hand back from Makoto’s chin as if it were an iron, he began walking away, not bearing to look at his face. 

-

He almost seems hurt by his reaction, but watches him walk off with a sigh. He was so close to finally admitting it to him, if that stupid bear didn’t have to go ruin everything. He had been lost in his thoughts as he heads back to his own dorm, was he really going to kiss him? No, he must’ve just been trying to make sure he wasn’t going to pass out or something. Yeah, that has to be it.

~~~

He had been sitting in his dorm after they had left the cafeteria, and he just couldn’t get him out of his head. He couldn’t let things end on that note, he had to figure this all out once and for all.

With a deep breath and a shaky hand, he opened the door to his dorm and walked out into the hallway. He quickly surveyed the area as he let out his breath, soon walking over to Byakuya’s dorm and ringing the bell. His heart was pounding out of his chest, what would he even say? Whatever he said, he’d have to convince him to let him in to talk regardless. 

It was almost like he was holding his breath as he waited for an answer.

-

Byakuya's breath hitched as someone knocked on the door. He honestly didn't know which was worse, Makoto knocking on his door to talk, or someone coming to kill him. 

"Who is it?" He called out, praying it was his death. Even dealing with Toko would be better than this.

-

”..It’s Makoto.. Can we talk for a minute?” He was just as shaky as he was before he rang the bell. Why was he shaking so bad? He never shook out of nervousness, but in this moment he just couldn’t stop himself.

He had already had negative thoughts swirling around his head, the last thing he would need is more thrown at him. But still, he had to know the truth or it would eat him alive.

“..I just.. Need to know something...”

-

Well, at least it wasn't a surprise. Byakuya trudged towards the door, and once he opened it, he was faced with a cowering Makoto.   
Despite all of the annoyance and will to be emotionally detached, as soon as Byakuya found himself face to face with Makoto, he was overwhelmed by the urge to comfort the nervous one, and tell him that it was going to be okay. The heir sighed begrudgingly. 

"Come in."

-

He let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into the neat and orderly room. It’s clear that he’s “borrowed” a lot of books from the library to keep in here. But that wasn’t what he was focused on as he stepped in. 

He seems to be a bit more calm than he was before he approached the door, but not exactly in a calm state.

“..Sorry for coming here so late, I hope I didn’t wake you up or anything.”

-

"You didn't," he replied, mentally preparing excuses upon excuses. 

"Come, sit." The heir led Makoto over to the small table in the room. His head was swimming, thinking about possible ways to let the lucky student down easy, or better yet, maybe this was all a misunderstanding and Byakuya was just blowing things out of porportion. Facing Naegi now, Togami spoke.

"What did you want to talk about?" he said, as if he hadn't been dreading this conversation the second he had returned to his room

-

He takes a deep breath as he tries to mentally prepare himself, letting that breath out before looking back up at him with a pink face, “..You know how I mentioned that.. Um.. I was in an unrequited.. love situation?” He couldn’t believe he was doing this, he had already regretted coming here to do this but knew there was no turning back now.

-

Byakuya only nodded, now realizing how difficult this would be. How was he supposed to turn down the cutest boy he'd ever seen, turning up at his doorstep in the middle of the night to confess his love? But he had to.

-

”..I’m.. Sure you get my point by now..” He only seemed to get more and more awkward, he should’ve never left his room. He should’ve never even acknowledged what had happened today. 

“..I.. I guess I really didn’t have to come here to tell you that so late.. I should let you get some rest, huh?”

-

He exhaled heavily.

Fuck it.

"Makoto, do you have any clue how hard I've tried to not have feelings for you during all this?" He stared intensely.

-

He froze up at his words, his face flushing as he seemed shocked and utterly confused.

“..You.. What?? Really? I.. Wouldn’t have thought..-“

-

"-I have tried my best to squash every romantic feeling I've had towards you since this madness started and nothing worked. I tried to send you away, to be extra cold to you, and you just kept coming back." A pained expression crossed his face as he brought it up. "And for you to come in here and just-" Togami cut himself off, blinking back tears that were steadfastly crossing his face anyways.

-

”I-..” He felt awful, not knowing what to do at first to help him or try to calm him down. He tries to put on a reassuring smile delisted the fact he had just been shaking like a leaf, slightly leaning closer to try and wipe a tear off of his cheek. 

“..Hey.. Shh.. Just breathe for a second, okay?”

-

A sad smile crossed his face as Makoto brushed a tear off his cheek, a heart-wrenching reminder of how much he wanted this, how badly he wished they were in another place where they could be free and happy. He sniffled. Pausing for a second, and breaking the eye contact they had, Byakuya began to talk.

"You know we can't have this. Not here."

-

”..Don’t say things like that.. Look at me, Byakuya.” He had a determined yet still kind expression as he looked back at him. It was breaking his heart to see him like this. In fact, I don’t think he’s ever seen him like this.

-

He looked back at Makoto, hopeful and determined. For a second, it reminded him of the first time he saw Makoto like this, telling everyone that he would get them all out of here. He didn't get it then, thinking Makoto was just another weak, naive soul who would be trampled over the first chance anyone got. But he understood now. Makoto was their rock, optimistic and hopeful and strong. And with that, he felt himself calm down just a little.

-

He slightly hesitated before taking his hand reassuringly and wiping a remaining tear off of his cheek with the same determined smile. 

“Listen, I’ll get us out of here, okay? I promise you that.” He slightly squeezes his hand with a pink face, “We’ll get out of here, if it’s the last thing I do. And until then, we can make the most of our situation, can’t we?”

-

Togami felt all of his protests and reasoning fade away. He could have this. He could let himself have this. A tentative smile went across his face.   
"Thank you," he whispered.

-

”There you go! See, things are going to be okay.” His smile only grew as he looked back at him. Seeing him smile again made all of this worthwhile for him. Truly, he considered him, Byakuya Togami, heir to the Togami Corporation, his own personal hope. He kept him fighting, he was another reason to keep working toward their freedom. They would get out of their, together, if it was the last thing he does.

“..Are you alright?”

-

"I am now." Byakuya paused, a playful smirk appearing. "Although I am a bit annoyed with Monokuma for interrupting..."

-

He seems a little confused at first. “..Interrupti-.. Oh..!” His face heats up once he realizes what he had meant by that, only seeming all the more flustered at his expression.

-

Byakuya chuckled. "Well, at least I know now that the blushing doesn't mean a fever," he stood up from his seat and held his hand out to Makoto. "So with that said and done, would you like to pick up where we left off?"

-

He couldn’t help but smile as he took his hand, letting him pull him up onto his feet. He couldn’t help but quietly laugh to himself, looking up into his bright blue eyes with a dreamy expression.

He pauses for a moment before laughing to himself, “You smooth bastard.”

-

"Only the best," he murmured, ruffling a hand through Makoto's unruly hair.

-

He can’t help but slightly giggle before looking up at him again with a playful smirk of his own, “I thought you said we were going to pick up where we left off, Mr. Heir-“

-

Byakuya rolled his eyes. "Someone's impatient," he responded, but nonetheless craned his neck downwards to meet Makoto's lips.

-

He couldn’t help but smile as he nearly had to stand on his toes to meet with him, his face heating up even more. He couldn’t have been more happy in that moment, it was the last thing he expected to happen between the two of them, he held him close, almost as if he let go he would just crumble to pieces before him.


	4. Chapter 4

He seems to have stopped by Byakuya’s room with something on his mind. The two had been together for a week or so now, and they kept it entirely secret, at least that’s what they thought. He’s sitting on the edge of Byakuya’s bed as he thinks to himself. 

“..So...-“

-

Togami perked up at Makoto's voice, previously lost in a book. He had stopped by his room with something clearly on his mind, and Byakuya was happy to wait for him to be ready to say it. The pair had sat in silence for a bit, Byakuya reading as Makoto thought. Knowing now that he found it reassuring when the heir made it clear that he had his full attention, Byakuya lowered the book and made eye contact.

-

”..It’s been about a week now.. I wanted to ask when uh.. When we’d tell the others about all this..? It’s getting hard to keep it a secret.” He had been nervous to ask him about this, as he was the one who really wanted to keep quiet about it. But he couldn’t help it, he wanted to tell everyone, no, the world that they were together.

-

The question made Togami raise an eyebrow. True, anyone in a normal relationship should have seen this question coming, but when you're the heir to a massive conglomorate told to keep all important information close to the chest in the middle of a murder game where any personal information you reveal could be used against you to kill you, the question had slipped the heir's mind. 

"During this? We can't tell anyone." The words came out sharper than he meant them, but what's done is done. Togami reopened his book, not expecting any further questions.

-

He expected this reaction, though it didn’t make him any less upset about it. What was there to worry about, really?

“..Why would it hurt to just tell everyone? Are you embarrassed of me? What are they going to do about it?”

-

Closing his book yet again, he saw a distraught look on the boy's face.   
"Makoto, I'm doing this for both of us. You're the most popular person here, so I refuse to put you in harm's way by declaring to everyone that we're dating." Barely seeing a change in his expression, Togami walked over to where Makoto was sitting on the bed. Then, in a quieter voice, he said  
"I'm not embarrassed of you. Don't even think about that. If the circumstances were different, I would love to show you off to the world. But.. they're not."

-

He let out a small huff, he was visibly irritated. He understood where he was coming from but he couldn’t shake the thought from his head, “..Really, what would telling them do? Homophobia? Judgement? Who cares! I hate having to keep you a secret like this..!”

-

A serious expression darkened Togami's face.   
"You know what the risks are as much as I do. Don't be irrational. We both know there's more on the line here than judgement." Sitting down next to Makoto, he turned towards the shorter boy and gave him an apologetic kiss on the cheek. "I don't like it either."

-

He still seemed to be irritated about it, though his expression seems like more of pout than a scowl. 

After a moment he sighs of defeat, moving a bit closer to him, “..Then can I at least tell Kyoko? What would she do with that information-“

-

He had fallen silent, he was so frustrated over this. He understood Byakuya’s worry, but it was driving him crazy. He had never been the best at keeping secrets to begin with, it got harder and harder for him to hide it everyday.

“..You really don’t trust her, do you? ..I mean I guess I can’t blame you for that.”

-

He was silent, an urge to protect Makoto's feelings that he had grown quite familiar with snaking up his body. Nothing he could say now would make him feel better, however, so he sat silently.

-

He sighs before leaning over onto his shoulder, thinking a bit to himself as he sits there.

“..Would you trust her more if we all spent time together?”

-

Togami was pensive. Typically, he didn't feel the need to interact with people outside of his pre-existing expectations. If he had nothing to gain, there was no use in meaningless small talk. But a smaller, more annoyingly optimistic part of him reminded him that before he had gotten to know Makoto, he had very inaccurate expectations about the lucky student. And at the moment, Byakuya just didn't have the energy to deny Makoto of anything else. 

"...I suppose so."

-

He seems to perk up a bit more as he glances up at him, then moving from his shoulder with a slight smile.

“I’m sure you’ll get along just fine! You’re both.. Quiet.. And.. Observant-“

-

Rolling his eyes with no real bite, Byakuya leaned towards Makoto and wrapped him into a hug, an unusually affectionate display for the heir. Humming to himself, the tension in the room lifted as Byakuya relished in the closeness.

-

His face flushes as he holds him close, his smile slightly growing as he generally feels at peace around him. He felt safe with him, like nothing could ever come between them.

“..You know..” His face heated up a bit more as he stayed as close as possible, “..This is nice.”

-

"Mmm." He hummed in agreement, paying minimal attention. Togami wasn't typically one to be sleepy very often, and he couldn't actually remember the last time he closed his eyes with someone else in the room, but this was different. Safe. Warm.

-

He slightly glance at him with a quiet chuckle, leaning up slightly to peck his cheek, smiling against his skin.

“Is someone falling asleep?”

-

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, eyes still closed and a smiile resurfacing on his face from the kiss. "I'm simply enjoying time with my boyfriend~"

-

He can’t help but smile a bit more once he sees the grin spread across the heir’s face. It was one of the nicest smiles he’s ever seen. Well, to be honest, he as a whole was the nicest thing he’s ever seen. He loved his bright blue eyes, he could just get lost in them, and don’t get him started on his cuddles and kisses. His face began to heat up from his thoughts, but really, he was truly happy here, with him.

“..You’re a dork, you know that?”

-

"Only the best for you~" He murmured, barely paying attention to the conversation. He might actually fall asleep-

-

He playfully rolls his eyes as he pulls away from him a little with a laugh.

“Unless you’re planning on taking a mid-day nap we should probably move, or you’re gonna pass out sitting up-“

-

Eyes getting adjusted to the light, Byakuya frowned as the smaller boy pulled away. 

"Fine-" Byakuya agreed, fixing his hair lazily with one hand.

-

He slightly laughs at his expression, getting up off of the bed with a small stretch.

“We have all the time in the world to nap after you get to trusting Kyoko.”

-

Byakuya's expression soured just a bit as he remembered why he was being forced from bliss. Getting up from the bed, The heir readjusted his glasses and forced a typical neutral expression back on. His guard was up, and he was ready to... talk to Kyoko.

-

”It’s not that bad.. Maybe you guys will actually get along? She’s pretty cool, really..” He scanned the much taller heir, his cheeks tinged with pink.

“..How do you always manage to look more than presentable-“

-

A warm feeling in his chest rose from the comment as he smoothed out his blazer. 

"Practice, I suppose." He said, ignoring the warmth in his face. "Well, are you ready to head out?" the heir asked, looking back at the smaller boy.

-

He tried to adjust his own hair, he never was as presentable as Togami was but he still made an effort.

“Uhh.. Yep! I think I’m good.. If I had to guess where she’d be it’d be her dorm..”

-

"Alright, then we'll go there." Byakuya opened the door, stopping the habit to immediately walk through and slam it behind him that he had developed from years of escaping paparazzi and nowadays, Toko. "After you."

-

His face heats up a bit more as he walks through the door, he slightly smiled as he glanced up at him. 

“Gentlemanly, I would expect that of the Ultimate Affluent Progeny.” He chuckled a bit to himself.

-

Rolling his eyes at the title, Byakuya closed the door behind him. Before taking a step forward, he inhaled and tentatively brushed his hand against Makoto's. Getting a questioning glance in response, Byakuya slotted his hand into Makoto's.

-

He didn’t really expect him to do so, though it was more than welcome. He squeezes his hand slightly with a smile as he walks with him. He speaks quietly.

“Affectionate in public, now? You’re just full of surprises~” He teases.

-

"Oh, be quiet." Togami replied, a small blush appearing on his cheeks. "Let's just get this over with."

-


	5. Chapter 5

She wasn’t expecting anyone, which only made the piercing sound of the doorbell catch her off guard. She hesitates for a moment, only to answer the door to see the blonde, snobbish heir and the lucky student. Not an uncommon combination if she had to say so herself.

“Makoto? What do you need?” She nearly ignored the fact that Byakuya had been standing beside him. Just because they were a couple doesn’t mean she needs to start acknowledging him now.

-

Byakuya let go of Makoto's hand as soon as Kyoko opened her door, instantly missing the contact. Nearly instantly he had to hold back a snarky comment. She's Makoto's friend, we're going to be civil.

-

”Well, me and Byakuya were going to look around to see if we could find any clues, and was wondering if you wanted to come with us?” He was a little nervous if he was honest, Kyoko didn’t really seem to like Togami all that much from what he could tell.

-

She looked from Makoto to Byakuya, then back to Makoto with a quiet sigh, walking out of her dorm before shutting the door behind her.

“I don’t see a reason I shouldn’t. But I don’t think we’ll find anything.”

-

”Well then, I suppose we could start in the cafeteria,” Byakuya suggested, though it came off like a command. It was typical of him to take leadership roles in things like this, despite trying to stay more low-key so Makoto wouldn’t think he was trying to control everything.

-

The cafeteria. Had she not checked every inch of the area, she would have thought that to be a good idea.

Why not try to have some fun with the heir at this point? A smirk, with a hint of malice, spread across her face before quickly falling.

“That would be a good idea, if we didn’t frequent the cafeteria so commonly. Perhaps the library would be a more adequate place to search for information.”

-

It was an insult to him, obviously. Saying that his proposal was inadequate and then suggesting to investigate the place he spent nearly every day? It would've been easier for both parties if Kyoko just called him unobservant to his face. He grimaced, looking over to the boy standing between them, metaphorically and physically. 

"Well, what do you think, Makoto?"

-

”Uhm.. Well.. I haven’t looked around the entirety of the library myself..” He seemed a little hesitant to choose, looking back between the two of them.

“..So we can start there, right?” He had a bad feeling about this.

-

A hint of a smirk appeared on her face as she glanced over to Byakuya, this was working like a charm.

“It sounds like the right thing to do to me.”

-

Faking nonchalance, Togami gave a small shrug. 

"If you think so." He said, an edge of ice to his words.

-

He felt the tension in the air, and looked at the both of them with a bit of a determined smile, “Come on you two, I’m sure you can get along for at least a little while, yeah?”

-

Her expression fell back to one of neutrality as she stepped ahead of the two of them are started walking towards the entrance to the first floor of the school. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking of, Makoto. There isn’t any hostilities.”

-

This time, he actually scoffed.   
"Right," he added, words dripping with sarcasm. No hostilities despite the well-disguised insult she gave.

-

He quietly sighed to himself, looking back at Byakuya as Kyoko had her back turned. He gave him a reassuring smile and a shrug, talking quiet.

“If I knew it was going to be this way, I would’ve never done it.” He paused, “..But, I’ll make it up to you for the hassle later-“

-

Looking at Makoto's remorseful expression, something inside of him softened. 

"I can get through some rude comments, it could be worse." He wanted to like Kyoko, but outright hostility wasn't helping. At least Makoto was making this bearable.

-

“I guess you’re right-“ He smiled as he walked beside him, knowing the Kyoko was too far up ahead to notice, he wrapped his pinky around Togami’s. His face started to heat up, but he didn’t look back to him just yet.

-

The simple contact coursed through his body and gave him a blush that he would have to deny existing later. For a second, Togami allowed himself to dream about a future where they could be dating, kissing in public without caring who saw. A smile showed up on his face.

-

She knew exactly why the two of them hadn’t been too quick to catch up to her, but she decided she’d at least let them have this. Besides, it makes Makoto happy and that’s at least worth something.


	6. Chapter 6

She walks into the library, the boys not too far behind her at this point. She notices an envelope sitting on one of the old, taller bookshelves.

It seems like this place really hasn’t been touched for ages. Reaching up to the shelf, she grabs the envelope and wipes of the dust.

“..Togami. Don’t you usually spend your time here, how did you not notice this?”

-

Byakuya rolled his eyes, finding the audacity in her voice laughable.

"Yes, Kyoko, because when I'm reading my book I often walk around the library in circles and checking for hidden secrets. Forgive me if my position at the table doesn't include x-ray vision."

-

He can’t help but let out a bit of a laugh, quickly covering his mouth with his hand afterwards. He always loved whenever he got sarcastic like this, he always found it hilarious.

-

She slightly rolls her eyes as she looks down at the envelope, tracing her finger along the side of it. 

“Maybe you should pay more attention to your surroundings, rather than being engrossed in Makoto, hm?”

-

His eyes shot to the size of saucers, panic rising in his throat. Togami looked over at Makoto, an unspoken question in his eyes. Did you tell her?

-

He seemed just as shocked as his eyes opened just as wide. When he looked back to Byakuya he quickly shook his head “no.” He’d never mention it to anyone without asking him first.

“..Wh-.. What?”

-

”Neither one of you are good at keeping it a secret, I’ve known for a while.” She doesn’t look up from the envelope as she opens it.

“I knew from the second I saw Makoto’s “giddy” expression after leaving your dorm the other night, which led me to infer he finally convinced himself to tell you his feelings. Am I wrong?”

-

She knew. How did he not know this? Panic rising in his throat, head swimming with every scenario, Byakuya panicked. 

"Yes!" Refusing to look over at Makoto, or else he would lose his nerve, Byakuya took a deep breath. I'm sorry. "Makoto and I are not dating."

-

The words shot through him like a bullet, he knew he had to brush it off though and keep up the act for their sake. Still, hearing that stung. 

“..We aren’t. The only reason I was in such a good mood was the fact.. Uhm..” He had frozen up on the spot, he couldn’t think of a single thing to cover it up. He just stood there, avoiding eye contact with either of them.

-

She stares back at Makoto, crossing her arms with her envelope still in hand. She wasn’t a fool, she knew what was going on between these two.

“..What were you saying, Makoto?”

-

”..I.. Uhm..” He was completely at a loss for words. He didn’t want to look at either of them. He was embarrassed. Those words still clung to him and they were almost unbearable.

-

"Makoto dropped by to see if I had a book, because he knew I had many in my room. I had it, but I hadn't finished reading it yet, so instead we read it together in my room. That's all." The lie was smooth, and his neutral expression was fully restored, despite the fact that he felt like ripping his hair out.

-

He nodded in response, this situation was so much harder to handle than he thought.

“I was happy to finally have gotten to read it.. It was a really good book..”

-

She wasn’t buying it, not for a second, though it humored her.

“Oh really? What book was it, might I ask?”

-

"The Cottage's Silver Kettle. It's a story about a woman in the 17th century and her story," Togami said easily, praying that Kyoko didn't make the connection of what the story was actually about.

-

”..That’s an odd subject choice for you, Togami.. In fact it’s odd for both of you to be so interested in a story of that nature.” She was going to get it out of them eventually, otherwise they’d never stop trying to keep up this terrible act.

-

”..It just caught my eye is all.. You know..?” He was sweating bullets at this point, it would just be so much simpler to tell her the truth. There wasn’t any point in trying to convince her otherwise.

-

"Kyoko, is there any reason to this pointless questioning? Besides, if we were dating there would be no reason to deny it. You're just making mountains out of molehills." Togami smirked, surely having her cornered.

-

”Denying it would only benefit the two of you in this setting. In a killing game, exposing any weakness could be detrimental. It takes simple common sense to realize that.” She had her own smirk to counter his, she wasn’t going down that easily.

-

Sighing heavily, Byakuya rubbed his temples. "Kyoko, you're pursuing a dead end here. It doesn't really matter to me if you think we're dating or not, since I clearly can't convince you. So please, can we just continue investigating?" Bluff upon bluff. It was a desperate play, but Kyoko just would not let this go.

-

”It's not like I care either way, I just want you two to drop the horrible acting.” She looked back down at the envelope as she uncrossed her arms and took the letter that was inside out, “It’s addressed to Hope’s Peak Academy, as expected.”

-

He let out a small sigh of relief, if she wouldn’t have stopped persisting he probably would’ve had an outburst and told her right on the spot.

“..What does it say??” He ignores her previous statement to try and avoid the rest of the conversation.

-

”..It’s detailing on how the school had to.. Have been shut down due to “unforseen incidents?”” She seemed shocked herself, but kept her neutral expression, “..Odd. Clearly this letter has been here for a while, judging by the thick layer of dust.”

-

"But I don't recall anything like that having shut down Hope's Peak. What would even constitute as 'unforeseen incidents'?" He was scouted for Hope's Peak very young, so he had kept a relatively close eye on news related to the school. If it shut down without warning, Togami would have noticed.

-

”..Maybe an incident involving the students or faculty? I mean, isn’t it weird that us 15 are the only students here?” He was thinking a bit, starting to pace back and forth as he does so. 

“But regardless, you’d think that would make the news... It’s not like Hope’s Peak is an ordinary school to scoff at..”

-

"But it would most likely be something purposeful, man-made. This killing game was made with care, it's clear that someone put a lot of effort into this."

-

”Indeed, the mastermind would have to be someone with an immense budget or in general just a very powerful individual.” She seems to be lost in thought for a while, fiddling with the envelope.

“That still isn’t helping us though, nothing is adding up quite yet.”

-

His determined expression grew upon his face again as he continued pacing, soon stopping and looking at both of them.

“Well, even if that’s true, we can’t give up, right? We’ll figure it out and we’ll all get out of here.”

-

Looking on at Makoto's sudden burst of confidence, Togami had to force a smile out of his system and instead pretended to be very interested in his cufflinks. After fiddling with them for a bit, he looked back up. 

"Well then, are we done here?"

-

”I would assume so, it seems coming here was a good decision. Thank you for that, Makoto.” She looks to both of them, resisting the urge to bring up the topic again.

“I’ll be taking the with me to try and decipher some meaning from it. I’ll let you know if anything comes of that.”

-

He smiles a bit with a nod, then looking back to Byakuya.

“I’m glad that something came of it all, we should all head back to the dorms, it’s honestly getting a little bit later..” He says this, but really wanted an excuse to just walk back with Togami.

-

Keeping the same neutral expression, Byakuya agreed with an incredibly relaxed attitude, but really, he couldn't wait to be out of Kyoko's watchful eye. It was getting exhausting, not allowing himself to smile when his boyfriend was being the best.

-

”Very well, I’ll be leaving now, I’ll talk to you both.. Eventually.” With that final note she left the room, heading straight back to her dorm for a closer examination of the letter. She didn’t get them to admit then, but she will get it out of them eventually.

-

Watching her leave he let out a sigh of relief, that was unBEARable! ..Wait.. Anyways, he couldn’t stand lying like that for so long, it was getting under his skin. The words that Byakuya said still lingered in the back of his mind, though he know that he didn’t mean any of it.

“..Well, it wasn’t terrible, right?” He laughed as he shook his head a bit.

“Seeing you hold back that cute smile the whole time was painful to watch-“

-

Letting out a giant sigh, Byakuya felt like collapsing. It didn't help that he was tired when this started, but having to lie for so long was deceptively exhausting. 

"No, that was terrible. God, I just want to-" wordlessly, he hugged Makoto for the second time that day. Anxiety worked hard, but cuddles with Makoto worked harder.

-

He caught him a little off guard at first, but soon he wrapped his arms around him and squeezes him in reaction. He had been wanting this for a while now.

“Much better, don’t you think?”  
”I told you I’d make up for the hassle- So you can have as many cuddles or anything that you want-“

-

"Perfect," he murmured. The two stood there for a moment, taking in the feeling of being close to each other once again.  
"You know... it's really lucky that you didn't start blushing when Kyoko brought up us dating."

-

He wasn’t nearly tall enough to wrap his arms around his neck with him standing normally, though he slightly buried his face in his chest, sounding a bit muffled.

He chuckled, “I’m not a “lucky student” for nothing..”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> take the angst

Byakuya rang the doorbell in front of him. A sprite of his boyfriend stared, almost mocking. All day Makoto had been acting off, unusually distancing himself from Togami. He acted almost standoffish, and he seemed to be lost in thought every time Byakuya saw him. Whatever was happening, he didn't like it. Byakuya intended to fix it.

-

He laid out across his bed with a sullen expression, he was exhausted. No, not physically, but mentally. His mind was a bully he couldn’t break away from, pestering him, endlessly.

He had distanced himself from the Heir for the majority of the day, which he hated to do, but he couldn’t let him see him like this. Still, he missed him. It was obvious, he was wearing the shirt he borrowed from him and everything.

It still smelled like him, like his cologne. It usually made him feel better, but he only had become a victim to his own thoughts. 

The lucky student nearly jumped at the sound of the doorbell, he knew exactly who it was, who else would it be? 

He slowly drug himself out of bed, trying to put on a happy expression though it was clearly forced. Opening the door, he tried his best to seem his normal self.

“Oh, you’re here a bit late. Come in, is everything alright?” He pushed his feelings deep into himself, of course he didn’t want to worry him, but he also wanted to make sure that Togami himself was doing alright.

“You can sit wherever you like, of course.”

-

Togami raised an eyebrow at Makoto's clearly manufactured smile. If there was any doubt in his mind that something was wrong before he had opened the door, that optimism was long gone. 

Makoto's bedroom was in disarray, (more so than usual,) Togami could now see that parts of his hair were clearly matted from bedhead, and the typically endearing sight of Makoto wearing his borrowed shirt was now completely recontextualized, becoming more concerning thsn anything else. 

"I should be asking you the same question." He said, walking into the room.

-

”..Huh? What do you mean?” He had tried to keep up his mask of optimism, but he knew it was faltering. He couldn’t fake this for much longer, and Togami’s concerned expressions didn’t help.

Insecurities wrapped around his mind like a snake, squeezing every last bit of energy he had. Why him? Why, out of all of the people out there did he choose him? He didn’t deserve it, he wasn’t anything special. No talent, no distinguishing hobbies, even average in appearance.

He was a mess, he knew he looked like he’d been hit by a bus. He was a wreck, as mangled mess of insecurities upon insecurities. He couldn’t tell him how he felt, no, he couldn’t worry him with his incessant thoughts.

“I’m just fine! Just sleepy is all..” 

He didn’t make eye contact, as he felt the pressure behind his eyes building up. Say one thing wrong and the dam will break. Maybe even just an expression could set him off.

He wished nothing more than to be out of this situation, but of course he couldn’t shut him out like that.

-

Byakuya sighed gently. So he wanted to play this game, did he? It was obvious that he was lying, even Makoto would be able to figure that out. So why was he so insistent on it?

Togami sat at the foot of the bed. "Sleepy doesn't explain why you've been avoiding me all day," he said curtly. "Try again."

-

He couldn’t just come out and tell him everything on his mind, in fact, he didn’t want to say any of these thoughts to him aloud. 

Why was he even worried? The thoughts kept pouring in, he couldn’t shake them off no matter how hard he tried.

“..Uhm.. It’s just..” He struggled to hold back the wall of tears behind his eyes, he couldn’t do this in front of him.

You look pathetic.

You’re an embarrassment to a man like him.

Stop. He couldn’t stop his brain from conjuring up the worst possible combination of words. He couldn’t speak in that moment. He knew if he did, the flood gates would open.

Why would he love you?

You’re not good enough.

-

Seeing the drastic change in his expression, Byakuya stood up and faced Makoto. The heir placed his hands firmly on Makoto's shoulders, trying to ground the lucky student from whatever was on his mind.

"Makoto? Hey, look at me." He spoke, a bit of panic coming through his voice. "You're here with me. You're okay."

-

He had been trapped in his own mind, trapped by the thoughts who wouldn’t let him free.

The instant that Togami placed his hands on his shoulders he froze. It’s not like it scared him, he just didn’t know how to react. 

He always considered himself vulnerable around him, but he hated just how vulnerable he was in that moment. Hearing the panic in the Heir’s voice only made him feel worse about it all, but he didn’t move him.

He looked up at him after some hesitance, which only caused a few of the tears he had been holding back to form in his eyes. He didn’t know what to say in that moment, he had to do anything he could to stop himself from bursting into tears.

He felt overly emotional, but it’s not like he could stop how he was feeling. It all hit him so suddenly.

-

The sight of tears brimming in the other boy's eyes nearly paralyzed the heir. He wanted to help but he didn't know how to fix a problem that was being hidden from him. The heir felt helpless, watching his boyfriend break into tears and nothing he could do about it. 

"Makoto..." his voice quivered just a bit. "Please tell me what's going on."

-

He felt the guilt surging inside of him, he never meant to hurt Byakuya in the process.

“..I-.. I..” His voice shook, he was completely overwhelmed by his emotions as he wiped his eyes.

“..J-.. J-Just some thoughts.. Heh.. You know..” His eyes only filled with more tears, he tried to stop himself.

“..I-It’s okay, I promise..”

-

"You're not okay," he answered gently. "Let me help you, I just want you to feel better," Togami said, as gently as he could. The heir just didn't understand why Makoto was so protective over this, so insistent on not letting Byakuya in. Did he not come to his dorm the second he suspected something was wrong? Did he not make it clear that he wanted to do this?

-

The tears started to spill onto his cheeks as he began to shake. He hated himself for worrying him so much.

“I-.. I-I’m sorry..” He felt panicky, like his whole world was crumbling down around him. He felt trapped.

“I-I’ve just had.. Bad thoughts.. Insecurities.. I g-guess..” More and more tears spilled down his cheeks, he hated admitting these to him.

-

"Hey, hey." Togami's voice morphed into a quiet shush he didn't really know he was capable of. 

"You're okay, I'm here for you." The heir just wanted him to feel okay, and was trying whatever he thought would be most comforting. 

He was going in blind, solely following an instinct to protect his boyfriend.

-

He the edge of guilt still pierced him as he looked up into his partner’s eyes. He could see the worry painting his face. Still, in that moment he couldn’t stop himself. His emotions had take control.

He spoke in a soft tone, barely audible. “..B-But why.. What m-makes me so special to you..” He couldn’t hold back his tears anymore as a river flowed down his cheeks. He was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, he just wanted these feelings to stop. These horrible, horrible feelings.

-

Matching Makoto's low tone, Byakuya looked directly into his eyes, trying his best to make sure every word got through to the lucky student. 

"Makoto, you are special to me in every way. The way your smile can light up a room, How you can befriend nearly everyone, and your boundless trust."

"The way you can tell what I mean, even when I try to hide it. The way you always check in on everyone and make sure they're okay."

"How you always see the bright side of things, how you always believe in people."

"The way that you always give me an extra hug when I tell you it's been a hard day."

"Your cheesy pickup lines to your bright red blush." 

"Makoto Naegi, I chose you because I wanted you."

"And every day I'm glad that you chose me."

-

He was frozen to the spot as the Heir’s calming voice rang through his ears. Did he really mean all of that? 

He continued to look up at him with his tear stained face. While he was still shaking, he seemed to have calmed down at least a little.

“..You.. You really mean all that?” His face shown a slight blush, his feelings were so conflicted.

-

"Of course," he said, shoving down the urge to make a sarcastic remark. Not the time, Byakuya.

-

”..I-I just think you’re.. So perfect, you know?” His face flushed a brighter red as he looked up at him, “..You’re incredibly handsome, smart, successful.. Generally out of my l-league.. I-I could just g-go on..”

-

"-And as flattering as that is, I'd really prefer you stop complimenting me only as a form of self-deprication." Togami sighed, wondering how such an adorable nerd couldn't get this through his thick skull. 

"I want YOU, Makoto. Not anyone else, you."

-

He fell silent, he just needed to listen to him.

“..I-If you really mean that, then..” He tried his best to push his thoughts from his mind as he wiped his eyes, he knew what he had to tell him.

“..Byakuya?”

-

"Yes, Makoto?"

-

He moved his hands from his shoulders, holding them in his as a slight smile crept across his face.

“..If you really want me.. And.. Only me.. Then I want you to know..” His face began to flush as he looked to the side, then back up to him.

“..That.. I love you. I love you so much, Byakuya. I have for s-so long. And.. You should kn-know how I feel about you.”

-

Eyes welling up with tears, Byakuya looked at the smaller boy as an uncontrollable smile grew on his face. Makoto Naegi loved him. He could hear those words every day and never get sick of them. He felt like writing it on every piece of paper, saying it to any random stranger on the street. Makoto Naegi loved him.

"I love you too."

-

He could feel his worries starting to melt away as he saw his smile. He’s never, ever seen him smile so genuinely. He seemed completely involved in the moment yet lost in his head at the same time.

“..This.. This is real, right..”

-

He let out a loud, almost hysterical laugh, borne from the immeasurable high he was riding right now. 

"God, I hope not," he said breathlessly, and then pulled Makoto into a kiss.

-

His eyes widen as he does so, as it catches him a little off guard, though he melts into the kiss almost immediately, standing up on his toes to wrap his arms around his neck. He couldn’t stop smiling, which only made it all the more difficult to kiss him.

-

Pulling away to catch his breath, Togami's expression turned more serious.

"I want you to tell me when something's wrong, ok? It doesn't even have to be me, but you don't help anyone if you bottle up your feelings."

-

He hesitates for a moment before nodding, it was going to be hard to be honest about everything he had felt, but he would try. He had to, for both of their sakes.

“..I’ll do my best to tell you.. It may take me a while, but I’ll get there..”

-

He relaxed as he heard the words. "That's all I needed to hear," Togami affirmed.

-

He still stayed close to him for a while before speaking up, a slight laugh in his voice.

“You don’t even mind the bedhead?”

-

"It's kind of cute," he said offhandedly, fully appreciating the blush he got in response. 

"Besides, it's even cuter paired with the shirt that mysteriously went missing from my closet~" he teased.

-

He had completely forgotten that he was wearing his shirt, his face starting to flush even more as he looks to the side in fluster.

“..Haha.. Funny how things go missing like that.. Huh..-“

-

Togami rolled his eyes and wordlessly pulled him into another kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the chapter that earns the tooth-rotting fluff tag
> 
> aka the boys sing love like you and cry

Togami sat at the grand piano in the music room, fingers flexed tentatively. He hadn't rehearsed in a while, and even though it was just a low-stakes hobby that he had chosen to adopt, the fear of failure seemed to follow him around. 

Choosing to warm up with a simple waltz he learned when he was young, Togami placed his hands in the familiar Eb octave and began to get through the notes. At this point, the melody was second nature to him and had become somewhat of a fallback plan to entertain guests for when he had nothing new or impressive in his repertoire. As his fingers grazed the keys, they found themselves in the final chord, signifying the end of the song.

Togami paused then, thinking of what else he could play. Truthfully, he didn't feel like playing more classical pieces he had mainly only learned due to requirement. A song popped into his head.

Initially, the heir blushed, shoving down the idea as overtly romantic and sappy of him. But the thought just refused to leave him alone, and before he knew it he was humming the opening notes. It was a ballad popular around 10 years ago, but had become iconic since then, being used for countless weddings and such. Togami tried his best to recall the notes and experimentally followed the typical ballad key signature.

Soon enough, Togami found the handful of chords that were correct, and made a few harmonies to go along with it, roughly outlining the beginning of the song. He could figure out the rest from there. 

Playing the intro to the song, he cued in an invisible voice while humming along with himself.

-

Makoto seemed to have been looking for the heir, as he didn’t show up to breakfast this morning. While this was a normal occurrence, the fact that he hadn’t seen him at all that day made him nervous.

After checking all of the obvious places he would be, Naegi grew desperate to find out where he was. Finally reaching the fourth floor of the academy, the soft pings of piano keys echoed in his ears. It was a song he recognized, how could it not be?

While the song was quiet older now, he still had a soft spot for it. Following the melody, he found himself at the door of the music room.

Hoping to find his love on the other side of the door, he soundlessly cracked open the door to see Togami seated on the piano stool.

The sight caused a light pink to be dusted across his cheeks. The song of choice he considered surprising, but he couldn’t help but smile as the heir gently ran his hands across the keys.

Walking into the room with a small relieved sigh, the lucky student started to softly sing the lyrics as he got closer.

“..I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love~..” His tone was sweet. He wasn’t an exceptional singer, but it wasn’t something you’d hate to hear. You could hear the smile in his voice as he slightly leaned on the piano with a giggle.

-

Togami's breath hitched as he heard the familiar voice singing along to his playing. 

"..Like you~" he joined, not looking away from the piano. His love sat down next to him on the piano bench, resting his head on Togami's shoulders. 

The heir's typical protests in his mind were drowned out by the sweet moment, holding onto it. He listened intently to their voices intertwining as his heart soared at the fact that they were singing such a romantic duet. He wouldn't cut it off for fear someone would walk in. 

Besides, the bridge was coming up and everyone knew that was the best part.

-

His face only turned a brighter shade of pink from hearing him sing along, he felt like Togami would end up hearing his heartbeat solely based off of how hard it was beating.

Leaning on the heir’s shoulder with the same smile, he could barely contain how this moment made him feel. As the bridge got closer, he glanced up at him with a brighter smile. All he wanted in that moment was to hear that sweet tone in his voice, see that lovely smile just once more. He softly hummed along with the piano.

-

"I always thought I might be bad, now I'm sure that it's true~" he sung, a little embarrassed to be singing on his own now. Regardless, the words rung true as he thought about how being with Makoto had changed him. How much his love had shown him so much, much more than a younger version of the heir would've considered possible. 

"Cuz I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you," Togami continued, sparing a glance at his boyfriend's face. It was perfect and open and willing. The light blush dusting his cheeks brought an immense happiness from deep down within the heir. He was just so perfect in every way.

-

His face only glowed from the spared glance, he didn’t think it was possible to love anyone as much as he loved him. Regardless if they were trapped here together, or out in the world and free, Togami would always be the center of his. 

He normally didn’t take singing all too seriously, but the moment only made his voice more passionate. All of these words had true meaning to him, he felt like his heart was going to burst.

“Look at you go~! I just adore you~.. I wish that I knew..~” The next line hit him the hardest, it had taken him a while, but he finally accepted no matter how average or dull he considered himself to be, the heir always thought him to be something special. He never let him forget it.

“..What makes you think I’m so.. Special..~

-

Listening to Makoto pour everything into the lyrics, Togami took the brief break in music to look over and press a kiss to his love's forehead. Purposely beginning to play a more bare-bones accompaniment so he could pay more attention to Makoto, he began to sing again. 

"If I could begin to be half of what you think of me," He sung, words growing heavy with meaning and emotion,

"I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love.." Tears began brimming in his eyes, leaning further into Makoto. 

"Like you."

-

He was taken aback by the tears forming in the corners of his eyes, which only made him tear up in response. Leaning in closer as well, yet still looking up into his eyes with a bright smile.

“..When I see, the way you act~..” He starts to tear up even more at the thought, each word hit him deeply. Thinking about the fact that Togami anticipated seeing him every day made his heart soar. He never wanted to be away from him.

“..Wondering when I’m coming back, I could do about anything~..” He pauses for a moment, abandoning the lyrics to cup his face into his hands and kiss him, disregarding the tears streaming down his cheeks.

-

The influx of emotions was unexpected and overwhelming. Everything was soft and incredible and he just wanted to sit there in the moment forever. 

Makoto gently pulled away from the kiss as Byakuya looked at him like he was the best thing he had ever seen. His expression was glazed with lovesickness as he stared into Makoto's eyes. 

"I love you." he whispered, the words coming out of his mouth with no prompting. Gingerly pressing down on the keys where they left off, he sang gently, tears still streaming down his face. 

"I could even learn how to love like you."

-

His eyes had the same lovesick expression, in that moment, nothing else mattered. The world was just them, only them. 

He leaned up a bit to press his forehead against the much taller boy’s, resting one hand on the side of his face with his signature loving smile.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of him, using the thumb of the hand rested on his cheek to wipe his tears.

“I love you, so, so much.. You’re.. You mean the world to me, don’t ever forget that..”

-

"I won't, I won't," he babbled, crying beginning to grow more intense. He would've done anything Makoto asked him in that moment. Togami had never been a happy crier, but he was just so overwhelmed in the moment. He let out a sob.

"God, Makoto, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He cupped his love's face and kissed him again.

-

His smile grew as he looked the heir in the eyes, leaning up even more to peck his forehead like he had done to him before.

“Shh~.. You don’t have to cry, Love..” He moved a little closer as he wiped his tears once again.

“You’re truly the best thing to ever come into my life.”

-

At those words, Togami threw his arms around Makoto, wrapping him tightly into a hug. He squeezed so hard that no one, not Kyoko, not the mastermind, could take him away. He would be safe in his arms. 

Togami let out a violent sob followed by a sharp breath, too overcome with emotion. The crying was intense, but it slowed in his love's embrace. 

In between sobs, Togami whispered desperately. 'I love you so much. I-hic I love you so, so much.'

-

He nearly let out a small gasp of surprise when he did so, yet he suppressed it as he held him tight, rubbing his back reassuringly. He let him rest his head on his shoulder, moving from rubbing his back to lightly running a hand through his hair.

“Shh, baby~..” His tone was sweet and calming as he held the heir close, pecking the top of his head.

“..I love you too, so much more than you could ever know..”

-

The ragged breaths gradually returned to normal. While becoming aware of his surroundings, Togami became more aware of his love running a hand through his hair comfortingly. He felt himself de-escelate. 

Letting go of Makoto, Togami sat up straighter. He inhaled deeply, then exhaled; grounding himself. Once Togami felt stable, he looked over at him. 

"You have to go before someone sees us." It was the last thing he wanted, he was desperate to hold Makoto in his arms again, play all of his favorite songs for his love and watch him sing so beautifully. But they both knew that they couldn't.

-

His heart sunk with his words, he knew it was true, but it still didn’t soften them.

“..Can you at least come by my dorm a bit later..?” You could hear the disappointment in his voice, yet he tried his best to mask it as he got up from the stool.

-

"Of course," he said automatically. Resisting the urge to give a parting kiss, he waved as Makoto walked out. A giant heaviness appeared in his chest. "later" couldn't come soon enough.

-

He waved back as he quickly walked out the door in an attempt to not let him see how upset he was from having to leave so suddenly.

Letting out a sigh as he closed the door behind him, he started making his way back to the dorms.

He didn’t want anyone to see him like this, of course not wanting to worry anyone. 

Walking into his room and locking the door behind him, he quickly got to his bedside drawer to grab the shirt he.. “borrowed” from Togami’s closet.

-

Togami turned back around to face the piano. What looked to him before as an array of possibilities now looked blank and meaningless. 

He played through 3 scales before closing the piano and leaving the room, which was now tainted with Makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst with a happy ending? nah bro try fluff with a sad ending >:)


	9. Chapter 9

Makoto seemed to have been sitting in his room for a while, seeming a little disheveled as his eyes were a little puffy.

He hated this. This stupid game was holding them back, he felt like he was just living in the homophobic 1800’s with how much they had to keep themselves a secret. 

He held himself a little as he sat against his bed frame, he had been crying for a bit now, past the point of no one noticing if they saw him.

He clutched the shirt he was wearing as he quietly sobbed, soon just burying his face in his knees.

-

Togami rung the doorbell, buzzing with anticipation. 

He had been walking around the school mindlessly for hours, counting down the time when he got to see his beloved, and the time was finally here.

In his left hand, he held a mug of hot chocolate he had prepared while waiting, trying to make it at the right time so that it would still be warm by the time Makoto got to drink it.

-

He jumped a little at the sound of the bell, shit. He quickly tried to wipe the tears from his eyes, but he knew he’d never mask the fact that he’d been crying in time.

With a sniffle, he walked up to his door to open it for him, putting on a false smile in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“H-Hey..! I-I’m glad you showed u-up..”

He noticed the hot chocolate in his hand, just as much as Togami could probably see the puffiness of his eyes.

-

Concern instantly hit him. 

"Makoto, are you okay?" He said immediately. Panic hit hit like a freight train, as images of what Makoto could've seen, what could've been said to him ran through his head. 

"Come on, let's head inside. I brought hot chocolate."

-

Guilt hit him immediately when he saw his expression change, he’d never seen him like this before and he wish he never had to, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“I-I’m okay..! R-Really..-“ He looked like he’d been hit by a bus, walking over to his bed to sit back down on the edge. “I-It’s okay..”

-

After Makoto sat down on the bed, Togami handed over the hot chocolate.

"Have some. It should still be warm," he told Makoto, taking stock of the situation as his boyfriend sipped on the drink. 

His eyes were clearly puffy from crying, Togami could spot his shirt on standby near the bed, and Makoto himself looked incredibly sad. What had happened?

He waited for his boyfriend to finish his sip before talking again.

"Makoto, what happened?"

-

He looked to the side a little as he held the mug in his hands, he felt horrible for worrying him so much.

“..N-Nothing really happened.. It’s j-just..” He took in a deep breath in an attempt to keep himself from crying again.

“..J-Just.. Having to hide th-this is killing me..” He started to shake a little, all of his senses and emotions were turning against him in that moment.

“I-.. I-I just w-want out of h-here! I-I can’t keep doing this!!” The tears started to flow once again, this situation was taking everything out of him. 

He couldn’t be the hope that everyone relied on, in a moment where he was sure that Togami needed him to be. Instead, he was a mess, if you were to have to describe the face of despair in that moment, it would be him.

-

"Makoto." He commanded, taking his love's hands. 

"You and I are going to get out of here. And when we do, I'm going to tell every person I know that we are together." He exhaled.

"I know that all of this is awful, but we have to be strong no matter what happens."

-

His breaths were as shaky as the rest of him was, he never meant to yell out like that, but he squeezed his hand so very tight. 

“..I-It’s just s-so hard..” He sobs, not being able to control himself anymore as he looked into his lover’s eyes. “..Y-You’re the o-only hope I h-have here.. I-If something were t-to happen to y-you I..-“

-

"-It won't." Togami shut down that train of thought where it stood. He sat down next to Makoto and held his hand, praying that some of his hope would move into his love. 

"I know things are hard. But you can get through it. I know you can."

-

He took a deep shaky breath to calm his nerves, squeezing his hand very tightly as he looks up at him.

“....” He paused for a moment. “..Th-Thank you. T-Trying to b-be so hopeful f-for everyone’s s-sake is k-killing me.. I-I can’t keep p-pretending everything’s f-fine anymore..”

-

Byakuya exhaled, dreading this conversation. He was the last person to go to for matters like this, especially considering that Makoto's naivety was something he had frequently made fun of him before they were friends. He hesitated, choosing his next words carefully. 

"..You don't have to be happy and hopeful every day. I know you may think it's your responsibility, but you are human. you're allowed to have emotions, especially in a situation like this. You need to take care of yourself."

-

Letting the tears spill down his cheeks he looked down, he knew he was right but that process would take him a while to accept. People had looked to him for positivity and a determined spirit, but keeping that up even when you weren’t already wasn’t something he could handle anymore.

“..I.. I-I’m going to try to be better..- N-Not just for e-everyone else.. But for myself..”

-

"That's good to hear," he said, squeezing Makoto's hand. "I'm proud."

-


	10. Chapter 10

Naegi, once again, was looking for Byakuya. At this point, it was almost a daily routine to search for where his boyfriend was at that very moment. He never minded though, it was almost like a game.

Having already checked the heir’s dorm and the cafeteria, he was sure that he’d find him in his usual spot, the library.

Walking up the stairs, he runs into Kyoko walking in the opposite direction. He didn’t really want to start conversation with her, which only resulted in a passing smile as he quickly walked to the library.

Opening the door, he was a little surprised to not find him sitting in his usual spot. Looking around the library, he was almost certain that he wasn’t here.

But in that moment, he remembered the archives. Opening the door, he let out a relieved sigh as he saw the heir standing there.

“Found you-“

-

After his run-in with Toko, Togami had been trying his best to stay more concealed. He had drawn back on his time outside of his dorm, despite the temptation to flounce around with Makoto for the world to see. While inside the library, he began just reading inside of the archives. He did not want to deal with Toko, nor did he want to deal with her figuring out about his relationship.

Despite how much the heir didn't want to talk outside of dorms, the playful sight of his boyfriend lightened something in him. He squashed that something like a bug. 

"Makoto, it's not private here, we can't-"

-

He playfully rolled his eyes as he kept the door slightly cracked, a playful smile spreading across his cheeks.

“I only came to see you, that’s all. No one would think you’re just hiding out in the archives anyways-“

-

He huffed, admittedly a bit moody at the 'only came to see you' comment. He wanted a kiss, Togami was sure of it. 

"You don't know how persistent she is. I don't want her, or anyone else for that matter, noticing that we've been acting unusually close and starting to make assumptions about us."

-

He most certainly had been looking for him for that purpose, though he wouldn’t admit that.

“..I wouldn’t say it’s unusually close.. For all she knows we’re just working together. She knows you “don’t want relationships to interfere with the game” right?”

-

His breath hitched at the reference. That mindset had felt like ages ago, before everything had meaning. A coldness cut into his words.

"Oh please, you've seen how I treat people. Even if they can't figure out the exact nature of our relationship, it would be easy to figure out that I have a weak spot for you based off of me holding a simple conversation."

-

He quietly sighed, leaning slightly against the wall as he thinks to himself. It still bugged him to no end, yet he was coming to terms with the fact that they had to keep their status hidden.

“I guess you’re right.. But still.. I get to missing you after a while, you know?”

-

Byakuya wondered how quickly he would bankrupt Togami Corporation if their rival brands had simply held up a sad picture of Makoto. He sighed heavily, giving in despite the irrationality of it all. 

"Well, I suppose a simple interaction wouldn't make anyone too suspicious."

-

That small smile slowly made its appearance again, thinking a bit with a mischievous snicker as he leans up to quickly peck his lips.

“Besides.. Who’s just gonna randomly show up to the Archives?”

-

Trying not to.. twirl him? Yeah, Byakuya suddenly felt like twirling Makoto. An image flashed in his head of the two of them clumsily ballroom dancing, laughing and smiling.

He made a mental note to bring this up later. 

"So you just wanted to stop by?"

-

“..Welll...” He laughed a little, rubbing the back of his neck a bit with a playful look.

“..I mean I don’t wanna just leave so soon-“

-

He laughed, knowing fully well that Makoto had very likely spent about an hour looking for him. 

"Well then, what do you propose?"

-

He seemed to think for a moment, then remembered something that he had already prepared for them.

He thought it would be a fun game for them both to try, so he had already prepared a list of questions. He didn’t know when they would do something like this, or even have the time to, but he took inspiration from that one show he watched with his mom a couple of times.

Unfortunately, of course, the list was still in his dorm.

“..This is gonna sound strange.. But.. You know the Newlywed Game..?”

-

He raised a single eyebrow at the suggestion.

"No, I haven't heard of it."

-

His face flushed a bit in embarrassment, trying to think of how to properly explain it to him.

“..Well.. It’s kinda like.. You answer questions about your partner or about you relationship..” His face heated up a bit more.

“Then you reveal your answer to your partner to see if you both answered with the same thing.. Does that make any sense?”

-

"Well.. We need some questions to answer, first of all.." His cheeks flushed as he seemed a little embarrassed. 

"..I had some questions prepared for something like this.. But I left the list in my room. We also need something to write our answers on, so that neither of us know what the other's answer is."

-

"Well then, should we head over to your dorm?" He asked, already excited to get to be affectionate with his boyfriend yet again.

Perhaps he would teach Makoto how to waltz, lean him into a dip just as the music swelled.

-

"Oh! Yeah, yeah that's probably the best idea.." He seemed excited as well, as he wouldn't have to act like that towards him anymore. Playing this game, maybe he'd find out things that Togami had thought about him that he never knew about. 

"We can just use the notebook in my dorm to write our answers down, it shouldn't be that big of a deal." A brighter smile grew on the lucky student's face, he really was excited to have him all to himself for a bit. He was almost an entirely different person behind closed doors, and he loved every second they got to spend together like this. 

"I can't wait to see what your answers will end up being.." He seemed playful, that bounce in his step returning as he walked out of the archives.

-

"I'm sure you won't find anything too interesting~" Togami replied, the smile on his face softening the otherwise harsh reply. 

He was looking forward to this, more time to cherish with his lover.

-

"I doubt that you don't have some things I don't know that you think about me.." He giggled a little from the sight of Togami's smile, resisting the urge to hold his hand as they walked. 

It didn't take long for them to arrive at the lucky student's dorm. Taking a quick look around, making sure that no one else was in the hallway, he let Byakuya in.

-

Byakuya stepped inside and stood idly as he watched Makoto securely close the door. 

The second he heard the telling click, he wrapped his arms around his love from behind, gently placing his head atop Makoto’s. 

Apparently, Togami’s body had decided that it was owed cuddles every time it was near Makoto. 

He hummed to himself.

-

His face flushed as his love wrapped his arms around him from behind, which only made a smile appear on the short boys face. He never got tired of his surprising cuddles, he always found them incredibly sweet.

He moves his arms to slightly cling to Byakuya’s, playfully squeezing them as he slightly leans his head up. He was much too tall for him to really see him by doing this, but he still made an effort.

“This is much better than the interaction in the archives.” He giggled a bit to himself, his romantic side really taking the best of him.

“You’re just a big sweetheart, you know that?”

-

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about~” The heir responded, knowing that he was really only this way around Makoto. The lucky student was so soft and loving to him all the time, Togami simply thought he should return the favor. 

“It was you who went searching for me around the school anyways~” He didn’t really know that for sure, it could very well have been a chance interaction. 

But, based off of his boyfriend finding him in the most odd places, it couldn’t be all coincidence.

Besides, it wasn’t as if he didn’t thoroughly enjoy the time they spent together.

-

“Is it a crime to look around for my boyfriend?” He laughed a bit to himself, slightly leaning back into his chest a bit.

“Especially when he hulls himself up in a place you wouldn’t expect. It’s almost as if you were hiding from me..” The playful smile stuck to his face like glue, moments like this with him were all he could ever ask for.

“And don’t go saying you don’t know what I mean.. You’re the biggest sweetheart behind closed doors-“

-

He simply hummed in response, as his eyes became half-lidded. As always, having Makoto in his arms brought him into a soft feeling of sleepiness and safety. He curled further around the smaller boy's body.

-

This only made his smile grow and his cheeks flush. He always felt safe here, in his arms. No one could take him away and no one could hurt either of them. They were safe together.

He decided to disregard the fact that the heir was only proving his point as he relaxed in his arms. His scent enveloped him, it only made him all the more relaxed.

He softly laughs, thinking a bit before grabbing one of the heir’s hands and kissing it to tease him. 

“You’re not the only one who can appear ‘gentlemanly’..”

-

Despite the small tinge on his cheeks, Byakuya responded;

"You're not a true gentleman until you've taken several waltz classes to blend in at galas and be able to easily dance while making polite conversation," only half-joking. 

"You can't figuratively sweep someone off their feet until you can do it literally."

-

His face flushed at the thought of the two of them dancing around his dorm room, yet it made him smile. 

“Well, then I guess you’ll have to teach me to at some point, right?” A brighter blush crept up his cheeks at the thought of his next sentence.

“..Besides.. If I’m going to fit in when we get out of here, I’ll have to learn at least a little..”

-

He felt lighter at the image of having Makoto with him at the typically dull and repetitive balls he had to go to. Having his love to flaunt for the world to see, and Makoto being starry-eyed over the world-class food and wine. He imagined watching his love rave about how fancy everything was, amazed by everything from centerpieces to necklaces. 

"I suppose so." His voice was soft, a quiet happiness at the sight. Dancing with Makoto. What a pleasant idea.

-

The smile never left his face as the thought swirled in his mind, almost making his heart soar. Remembering what they had planned to do that day, he laughed a little to himself.

“..Maybe after the game we could try it out.. At least for a while before you have to go again.”

-

"..Right."

Before he had to go again.

It was a painful reminder that no matter how much he wanted to, Byakuya would have to soon leave in favor of cold solitude. 

He released his arms from Makoto, allowing him to get the paper with the questions. 

He didn't have to leave yet. There was no use in wallowing over the inevitable.


	11. Chapter 11

He hated the thought of him having to leave as well, but he brushed it out of his mind as he tried to stay positive.

Walking over to his bedside table, he opened the drawer to grab the list as well as his notebook. His face slightly flushed at.. a few of the contents of the drawer as he quickly closed it, walking back over to Byakuya.

“..Ahah. Well, there isn’t too many questions, but I think they’ll be pretty fun to answer.”

-

Quietly noting the new blush on Makoto, he continued. 

"So how exactly do we play?"

-

He looked down at the list as his blush eventually started to fade, trying to think of the best way to explain it to him.

“Well.. Here.. I’ll show you by doing the first question.”

He had a couple of pens as well, he had to make do with the materials he had. 

“Take this, and.. Okay, the first question is.. ‘What is their worst habit?’ So.. I would write down what I think your worst habit and vice versa. Does that make sense?”

-

"Yes." He paused for a moment, considering what he would think Makoto's worst habit to be. 

After thinking it over for a bit, he wrote down 'Doesn't take care of self.' 

The pair scribbled down answers to all of the questions, and looked up when they were done. Togami had finished first, and waited by studying Naegi's pensive expression. It was all bunched up in concern, which he found adorable.

-

He took a minute to try and decide what about him he really found to be bad. 

After a while he wrote down his own answer, ‘Not very open about his true feelings.’

Looking back at him as he keeps his answer hidden from him.

“And now we show each other what we wrote..” Saying this, he turned his paper around.

-

Togami turned around his paper, and stifled a laugh at Makoto's answer. That really wasn't a flaw, just careful training. He didn't see the problem with keeping things close to the chest.

-

After Togami turns his paper around, he cocked his head a bit with a slight laugh.

“Hey, come on! I’m working on it, okay?”

-

"I know you are, but you told me to answer honestly."

"Alright, next question... What is their pet name for you?" Togami had to think about that, the true answer being just about everything. He scribbled down 'Anything off the top of his head.'

-

It takes him a second, since pet names from him were quiet rare. After a minute a small smile appeared, writing down his answer, ‘Love.’

Turning his paper around with the same smile.

-

When Byakuya turned his paper around, he flushed at what Makoto had written. He wasn't wrong, but it had just felt natural to call him that. It wasn't as if he had consciously decided. Makoto just was his love.

-

Reading Byakuya’s paper, his face flushed a much brighter red with an embarrassed laugh.

“Well.. I just like pet names, you know..?” He laughed a bit more, looking back to the list.

“..How does your partner like his tea or coffee?”

-

Oh, this one was easy. 

'Neither. He prefers hot cocoa or apple juice, because he is a child.'

Togami turned the paper around with a smug expression.

-

He knew this one fairly well, he’s made coffee for him on the occasion anyways.

‘Dark roast with exactly one sugar packet.’

He turned his paper around with confidence, only for it to shape into a playful pout as he read his paper.

“..Hey-.. Coffee’s too bitter no matter how much sugar you put in it-“

-

"And yet you scarf down chocolate like it's your calling in life," he added, chuckling to himself. 

"What would they say your best feature is?" he read aloud. 

Togami had to think about that one for a minute, as Makoto was just generally enthusiastic about all of his features. At the risk of sounding lewd, he hesitantly wrote down his body.

-

It took him a while to think, his cheeks slightly flushing as he looked down at the paper. What would Togami like best about him?

Unsure of his answer, yet writing it down regardless.

‘My freckles?’

He shrugged a bit as he turned the paper around with a chuckle.

“..I didn’t really know honestly-“

-

Byakuya looked over the answer. 

"It's a good guess, but if I had to choose, I'd say your size. There's something a cute about a pocket sized boyfriend-" A flush grew as he finished the sentence. That was incredibly embarrasing to say aloud.

-

His flush grew as he said so, only causing a smile. Looking at Byakuya’s answer, his face flushed even more. 

“..Heh.. Well.. Yes, you have a perfect body..” His face heats up even more at the thought.

“..Your smile is my favorite-“

-

His flush was even brighter now. Byakuya cleared his throat in an attempt to change the subject.

"So! What's the next question?"

-

He couldn’t help but chuckle at his love’s fluster, looking back down at the list to read the next question.

“..Hm okay.. What is their favorite thing that you wear?”

He takes a moment to think about it, his signature determined smile spreading across his face as he writes his answer.

‘His t-shirt with nothing else.’ He didn’t exactly mean it in a lewd way, only trying to emphasize the fact of how big his shirt really is on him. It actually didn’t cross his mind that it could’ve been taken entirely differently.

He turns the paper around with the same confident look.

-

The answer was immediate, a knee-jerk reaction in his head. It was a deep green suit he had worn to impress Makoto, the time that they had planned to... well. 

He wrote down the answer quickly and flipped it.

-

His face only heated up from the thought of him wearing that certain suit, slightly nodding in response.

“..Hehe..- It looks really good on you, you know..?”

-

"Clearly; if your reaction to it was any indication." He looked over at Makoto's card and laughed.

"Ah yes, my shirt. Am I ever going to get that back, by the way? I would imagine it hardly smells like me anymore-"

-

“..You’re not wrong.. But as soon as it smells like you again-“ He laughs a bit more to himself.

“I’m taking it back. It’s too comfortable not to-“

-

Byakuya rolled his eyes playfully. 

"Alright, next one... what is their go-to karaoke song?" He quirked an eyebrow. 

"Why, pray tell, did you choose this question?"

-

“Just curious is all..” He laughed a bit to himself, looking down at his own paper. 

“It’ll be hard to guess for you, imagining you genuinely singing karaoke is a foreign concept. Yet, still fun.”

-

It was relatively difficult for Makoto also, as he seemed like the type who would be belting out tunes all night. But, he considered, Makoto would most definitely go for a classic. He wrote down 'Don't Stop Believing' by Journey.

-

It took him a long while, not really seeming to come to much of a serious answer. With a stifled laugh, he wrote down his answer.

‘Tequila. Cause he doesn’t sing.’

-

Byakuya burst into laughter at the card, barely able to hold up his own straight enough for Makoto to read it.

-

He can’t help but laugh at Byakuya’s reaction, trying to read his card, which only makes him laugh even more.

“While that.. Hah- Wouldn’t be a go to.. I definitely would..” He laughs between words, especially happy to see Byakuya being so humored by something he had said.

In the midst of his laughter he looked down at the list, his face heating up at the last question. He completely forgot he had even wrote this question down, and now it was catching him off guard.

“....Do you think your partner would ever want to start a family?”

-

Most likely, he thought. Writing down a yes briefly, he felt dread rising in his chest at answering the question.

-

He thought a bit to himself, taking a minute to take many aspects into consideration before writing down his answer.

‘No.’

He turned the paper around for him to see, he was almost positive he was right about this. For.. Multiple reasons.

-

He nodded silently, not really wanting to press on this subject.

-

Looking back on it now, he really regretted adding that final question. Setting his paper back down, putting on a slight smile to try and reassure him and lighten up the dreary mood.

“..Well, that’s it! Eheh..”

-

"Good." He stood up. "Now, shall we dance?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys dance ft. my epic ballroom dance knowledge

"Good." He stood up. "Now, shall we dance?" He asked, reaching a hand out to Makoto. 

He was eager to brush off this subject, and this seemed like a good distraction.

-

His face immediately flushed at the thought, taking his hand with a flustered smile.

“..I really don’t know where to even start..”

-

Standing parallel to Makoto, he took the lucky student's left hand and placed it on his shoulder. He took the other hand and clasped the two together. 

"This is standard position. Given the fact that I'm more acquainted with leading, I placed you in follower position."

-

He seemed totally lost about what he was going on about, yet nodded as if he understood regardless.

“..Ahuh.. What next?” He was still really confused about all of this, though he still wanted to learn. He was a little clumsy, he’d have to try his best to not end up stepping on his feet.

-

"Given that waltz is in 3/4 time, the steps will follow a typical 3-step pattern. This, of course, varies with positions aside from standard, specialized steps, but that's aside the point. First, we will both step to my left, your right, and then with the foot that we haven't yet moved and therefore has no weight on it, I will step backward as you step forwards, dragging the foot still to the side forward to meet the other for the 3rd beat."

-

There was complete confusion in his eyes, he had no idea what he was going on about. He couldn’t keep up an act of understanding, because he couldn’t understand a word of it. 

“..Uh.. Sorry.. But what..?”

-

"Right, sorry I.. threw a lot of things at you. Here, watch my movements." He said, moving back. 

Byakuya stepped forward with his left foot, to the right with his right, and then brought his left to meet his right. 

"It's simple. Just forward, right, close," He narrated, following his movements. 

"Here, you try."

-

“..Okay, okay.. I think I got it..” He follows after his movements, doing it a couple of times just to make sure he was doing it right.

“Like that, right..? It seems easy enough..” He was starting to feel a bit more confident about it, though his face flushed at the thought of them doing it together.

-

"Right. Now, we try it together." After briefly arranging Makoto's arms into the correct places, the two were together again. 

"Now, I'm going to be doing the inverse of your movements. When you step forward and to the right, I will step backwards and to my left. And vice versa. Despite this, I'll still be narrating your movements so you won't get confused."

He was about to start before he remembered one final detail.

"So since this is a close dance, when I step backwards and you step forwards, your leg is going to be exactly where mine used to be. It's very close together. That said, let's get started."

-

His face flushed even more as they were so close together at this point, though he nodded. 

“..Okay, okay.. I think I understand.. It seems much easier than I thought it would be..” He pauses for a moment with an embarrassed laugh.

“..Sorry if I step on your feet though-“

-

He laughed a bit. 

"It wouldn't be the first time. Now, we go forward, right, close, backwards, left, close, forward, right, close, backwards, left, close..."

Togami narrated the movements as he followed the beat easily. He smiled as he watched his love clumsily follow, clearly surprised by the closeness as he stepped back and Togami stepped forward.

-

He was mostly focused on his movements to the point where he didn’t look at Byakuya at first. After he started to get the hang of it, his face flushed as he looked back to him, soon realizing the closeness that the waltz caused them to be.

“..I think I got it.. Ehehe.. You’re really good at this. I wouldn’t expect any different-“

-

"Good. Now do you think you're ready to try throwing another step in the mix?" He asked, as if this was some crazy revolutionary thing.

-

He didn’t really expect there to be anything else to it, looking up at him with a questioning look.

“..Another step..? What else is there?”

-

Byakuya laughed at the response.

"Did you really think I taught you the entirety of waltz in an impromptu 15-minute lesson?" He chuckled. 

"I was going to ask if you wanted me to teach you how to add a spin into the basic step."

-

The thought of it only made him blush, he nodded with a slight smile as he looked up at him.

“..I think I’d like that.. What do we need to do?”

-

"Well, you start off like normal, but for one time I may lift my left hand-" He looked down, as that was where their hands were holding.

"-And in response, you lift the rest of your arm and twirl as opposed to closing your feet. Want to try?"

-

He nodded with a brighter red face, seeming a little worried he would mess up though. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of him, yet he still wanted to do this with him.

“..Just don’t laugh if I mess up-“

-

"No promises~" the heir grinned, really looking forward to this. 

"Okay, forward, right, close, back, left, close, forward, right..."

He lifted their hands up, indicating for Makoto to twirl.

-

He lifted his hand up in return, twirling around before facing him again with a red face. He seemed relieved to have done it correct the first time, letting out a sigh of relief.

“..That wasn’t bad, right? I think I did good-“

-

Togami leaned down and kissed him, cutting off whatever he was about to say. He was just so adorable, Togami couldn't help himself.

-

He didn’t seem to expect it, as he obviously cut him off, though it’s not like he was not going to reciprocate. His blush grew, as well as his smile, which only made it harder for him to kiss him. But really, he couldn’t help it. He made him too happy.

-

Byakuya pulled back briefly just to say one thing.

"You did incredible, you adorable dork." He whispered breathily.

And with that, he leaned back in.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alright babes here's some HARDCORE FUCKING ANGST because motive

Togami’s hands shook. He didn’t need to take the paper out of the envelope, he already knew what it said. 

A motive.

Of course Monokuma would have it, he and Makoto had been idiotic enough to let this all unfold in front of the Mastermind’s cameras. 

He had been idiotic to let this all happen.

He slipped the paper out. 

‘Byakuya Togami is gay and in a relationship with Makoto Naegi.’

It was surreal, having his secrets laid out so starkly on paper for all to see. Even though they never truly forgot about the cameras, seeing the truth of their secret written on paper destroyed the illusion of privacy they had. Such a miniscule piece of paper containing so much power. 

People here would kill over it. 

He bit back rising nausea. To think of what could happen if this was released to the press, what would happen to what he had fought so desperately to create. This was his life’s work. 

And what could happen to Makoto… 

Makoto. 

He was saying something, something about just revealing the secrets. Of course he was. So sweet, so naïve. He so genuinely wanted to see the best of everyone. 

And he was looking to him for support, a smile reflecting how miniscule he thought this threat.

“I would rather not.” 

With that, he rushed out of the gym, not enough concentration to focus on Toko trailing him or Makoto’s expression. He just- He just had to get away. To think clearly. No influence from his boyfriend, or Toko, or Monokuma, just him being alone with his thoughts. Racing down the halls, Togami stumbled at his door. He fumbled with the knob, hands shaking worse now. He finally swung the door, launching himself into his room in a sort of hysteria.

-

Naegi stood amongst his peers, an aura of dread, anxiety, and despair filled the room as the students opened their letters individually. No one said a word, yet their expressions told stories on their own.

The silence filled his senses, he just couldn’t stand it. To kill someone, over some secret at that, was crazy. Completely unfathomable.

Opening his own letter, he read his own secret silently.

‘Makoto Naegi wet the bed until the 5th grade.’

While of course, this secret caused an embarrassed blush to tinge his cheeks, it wasn’t nothing to kill someone over. He couldn’t imagine ever even considering such a thing.

In a quick attempt to break the tension over the room, the (un)lucky student put on his usual, determined expression. He wasn’t going to let everyone dwell on such a harmless motive, he needed to get their spirits back up.

“Hey! Hey... Why don’t we just share our secrets now? If we get it out of the way, we have nothing to worry over, right?” He believed that, he really did. He could win back their hope, he had to. They couldn’t lose anyone else to the grasp of this sickening despair.

Much to his dismay, all he received were glares and the nervous ramblings of Toko. He turned to Togami, hoping maybe he would be the one to help him out here.

Instead, the only thing written on his face was an expression that Naegi couldn’t describe. And what he said and did next only caused a growing sense of worry in the pit of his stomach.

Watching his boyfriend burst out of the room in a frenzy, he grabbed Toko by the arm harshly to keep her away. His voice was strained, you could clearly tell he was angered by it.

“Leave him alone. Clearly, he doesn’t want to discuss this with anyone, don’t try and chase him. You’ll only make it worse on him.” His grip was harsh, yet he let go once he realized what he had done.

-

Togami sat down on the bed, willing his hands to stop shaking. 

“Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!” Togami screamed out the last word, pent up anger and frustration forcing their way out of him. 

This was a mistake, he had known it from the start. He was in awe of the pure selfishness that he could put their only hope at risk like this, he would destroy everything for his own personal reasons. 

And now, everything else was going to get destroyed. Everything he had worked for since the day he was born. Goddamnit, how could he recover from any of this?

Togami grabbed his hair, yanking on it firmly. 

FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS.

The sharp stings of pain ran through him, unsuccessful at salvaging anything and only reviving an old, nasty habit.

-

Toko looked back at Naegi with a frightened expression, backing away from him in her normally shaken state.

“H-How d-do you kn-know wh-what he’s f-feeling?? I-I need to c-comfort M-Master B-Byakuya!”

Naegi’s expression morphed from his normal, peaceful expression to one of pure anger. He couldn’t believe the selfishness that spewed from the author’s lips. Gripping his fist, he had to keep himself distanced from her to avoid any conflict.

“Are you listening to yourself? He needs time, he doesn’t need your ‘comfort.’” He was boiling over with his anger, as his fears only amplified the feeling. He wanted nothing more to run after him and make sure he’s okay, but he knew that Byakuya wouldn’t have wanted him to draw attention to it.

“Now, I’m going back to my dorm. If I catch you trying to bother him again...” He cut himself off as he shot daggers at her, turning back around and walking out of the gym.

His mind raced with thoughts of what secret could have caused him such panic. He wasn’t going back to his dorm, he was going to go see him.

-

He continuously pulled, no longer thinking and falling back into a familiar rhythm. 

The pain enveloped him like a hug, welcoming him away from the awful thoughts plaguing him. 

Every jolt was a welcome distraction from every one of his problems. 

He didn't have to think about it. 

Just feel the hurt.

-

His worries filled his mind as he only walked faster down the hall, nearly starting to run to his boyfriend’s dorm. He didn’t care about anything else in this moment, only if he was okay. He had to make sure he was okay.

Running up the stairs and nearly causing himself to trip, he grabbed onto the guardrail and kept running. Despite nearly being out of breath as he reached the hall, he quickly pressed the doorbell.

Waiting for an answer at the door, the seconds felt like hours. He had to help him, he had to make him feel okay. He had to do whatever he could.

“Byakuya please.. answer.. come on..” He mumbled to himself as he nearly started pacing. His worries were eating him alive, he had never seen him react like that before.

He didn’t want to stress him out by ringing the bell again, it took everything for him not to yell out for him.

-

His back jolted upwards at the doorbell. 

If it was Toko, it would be best to yell something at her to scare her away like a crow. 

But it was Makoto. 

He knew it was. Of course it was.

Because who the hell else would be kind and compassionate and genuine enough to catch up to him, check on him. 

Makoto... 

Every fiber of his being was screaming out at him to open the door and launch himself into his boyfriend's arms, but he couldn't.

That much was clear now. 

"Makoto, don't make this harder than it has to be." He yelled.

-

He seems taken aback by Togami’s response, which only makes him all the more worried. His hands were slightly shaking from the anxiety that this situation was causing him. He just had to make sure he was okay. He couldn’t give up.

He couldn’t let him give into despair.

“Byakuya.. Please..!” He lightly hit his fist against the door, not to scare him but because of how he was feeling. 

He started to tear up from the fact there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t help him like this, he couldn’t even find out what was hurting him so, so much. It tore at him, he felt guilty. Guilty because there was truly nothing he could do or say to help him.

“...P-Please open the door.”

-

It was the final whimper that made him give in.

Despite trying his best to keep Makoto safe by doing this, not making him vulnerable to everyone, he had to comfort his boyfriend. He couldn't stand to do this to him. 

Cursing under his breath, hands still shaking, he slowly made his walk of shame towards the door and cracked it open.

-

He saw the pain in his expression, which only caused his heart to sink into his stomach. He had never seen him so shaken, so vulnerable looking. It broke him. Seeing the cool and confident ultimate affluent progeny in such a state was devastating.

“..Byakuya..?” He couldn’t say much more, thoughts raced through his mind in regards to what could have truly made him feel this way. Was it really something that horrible.

“..I-I can’t let you fall into despair over this.”

-

He wordlessly gestured towards where his motive card was sitting on the bed. 

Makoto may be distraught over him now, but he'll have to learn not to be, because Togami couldn't bear the risk of putting his love in such immediate danger.

He would have to move on for everyone's sake. 

It was the right thing to do.

-

He seemed a little confused, looking over to the letter sitting on his bed as a dread loomed over him. He looked back to Byakuya for just a moment before walking to the bed, opening the letter with shaky hands.

After reading the letter, his heart dropped even further. He knew exactly what he was worried over, and it froze him on the spot.

He stared down at the words, almost as if he looked at them long enough they would just disappear. The dread inside of him grew, the spark of hope inside him starting to dwindle down.

“..Byakuya... I-“

-

"We can't keep doing this." The words cut through the air as the two stood, each one frozen to their spot.

He didn't know who was more heartbroken over the sentence. 

"I-I can't put you in danger like this. It was selfish and I'm sorry." He barely recognized the words as his, The Ultimate Affluent Progeny who was madly in love with Makoto and never apologized. These words belonged to a broken man that couldn't possibly be him.

-

With these words, he immediately felt the tears building up behind his eyes. He should have known something like this would happen, but he didn’t want to believe it.

He had his hopes too high up, he shouldn’t have felt so carefree about it. Besides, the thought that he could’ve ever been with someone like him was foolish. 

He started shaking, gripping his fists a bit as he tried to hold back his tears. He couldn’t express how this made him feel in front of him, he just couldn’t. 

In that moment, before he could burst into tears he threw the letter down, running out of the heir’s dorm. 

He couldn’t handle hearing those words.

-

He didn't bother running after Makoto. He did what had to be done. 

His heart felt like it was ripping itself to shreds, and the look on Makoto's face had made him want to vomit. 

He had to do this so Makoto would stay alive.

He had to do this so he wouldn't put his love at risk. 

He loved Makoto so much.

He wished he didn't.

The tears finally broke onto his face, sobbing violently.

-

Slamming the door behind him once he reached his own dorm, he slumped down against his door and sobbed into his knees. The one thing that kept his hope strong, it was gone. Shattered. 

His grip on his own knees tighter as his sobs grew louder, violently shaking as he sat there.

“I-I should’ve n-n.. N-Never...” He cut himself off with his sobs. He felt incomplete, like he lost a part of himself. 

It was like he had always told him, he was just too naive.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko Kirigiri to the rescue

Everything inside of Togami felt nauseous and injured. He couldn't remember the last time something had shaken him this badly. 

Everything hurt so much, and he wished that he regretted it. 

He wanted so desperately to be doubtful that he made the right decision, realize that he had made a mistake but the worst part was he knew he was right, and this pain was unavoidable. 

He had to do it to protect him.

-

The clicking sounds of Kirigiri’s boots filled the silence of the hallway. Well, what you would think to be silent. As she went to unlock the door to her room, a muffled cry caught her attention.

She didn’t think much of it at first, she couldn’t be bothered with such interactions. However, upon realizing that the sounds omitted from Naegi’s room, a complacent sigh escaped her lips.

She had taken interest in the boy, not in that sense, just general interest in his character. His overly-trusting nature intrigued her. 

Her expression never changed as she approached the door. The sobs grew louder as she approached, she could almost understand some of his delirious mumbles.

She rang the bell, crossing her arms as she stepped back from the door.

-

He jumped at the sound of the bell, refusing to answer regardless. He didn’t care who it was, he wasn’t letting anyone in. Physically or emotionally. Never again.

“Naegi, open the door.”

He didn’t expect to hear the voice of the lavender-haired detective, but that didn’t change on his decision. No matter who it is, he couldn’t let anyone see him like this.

“Makoto.” Her voice was a bit stern, though that was just typical of Kyoko. “I said to open this door.”

He knew that she wasn’t going to go down without a fight. On shaking legs, he gave in, standing up to open the door for her.

His face was stained with tears, his eyes puffy. It was clear that he had been more than just crying, he looked like a complete wreck.

“..Wh-What do you w-want? J-Just go.” His words were filled with bitterness, though you could tell a need was hidden behind his words.

Without another word, Kyoko walked into his room. Crossing her arms with a blank expression, she motions to his bed.

“Sit down.”

-

Togami's sobs were violent, shaking with every inhale. It hit him that the last time he had cried this hard, Makoto had held him close. 

Breaths slowing, he tried to bring himself back to that day. He had ran a hand through his hair, rubbing his back with his other hand. He was so caring and gentle with him, something that Togami had never deserved but Naegi gave him anyway. So kind and compassionate no matter who, always trying to get to know you no matter what. Memories flashed through his head, trying his best to calm himself down by thinking of his touch.

And you took advantage of that. You destroyed him. A sharp sob escaped him once again.

He didn't want this. He didn't want to hurt Makoto. His teeth were gritted, biting back a scream.

I love you, Makoto Naegi.

I hope you'll forgive me.

-

He didn’t want to listen to her, he didn’t want to talk. He lost the only thing he cared about here, there was nothing left to say. Regardless, he sat down on the bed with a hitched breath.

He couldn’t stop the tears from falling, but he tried his best to seem composed.

“..Wh-What do you want?”

“Something happened with you and Togami, am I wrong?”

He froze up once she says this, making his tears only that much harder to hold back. He didn’t want to hear his name, thinking about him only hurt. He missed him, so, so much.

“..Wh-What are y-you talking about..”

“I’m not idiotic Naegi. I heard Togami as well. I’m assuming the motive drove you two apart.”

Silence fell over him, only the sound of his breath escaping him. He didn’t know how to respond, he only brought his knees up to his chest.

“...Sitting here like this won’t help either of you. What happened to that determined person who fought for what he wanted?”

“..He’s n-not here anymore.” His sobs interrupted him, “..H-He has nothing e-else to hope f-for.”

She looked at him with an expression he’d never seen before, was it... Sympathy?

“Don’t talk like that. That’s not how you are, and you know that. Are you really going to give up like this?”

He went quiet as he looked away from her. She was right, it wasn’t like him to just give up on hope like this. His heart ached, all he wanted was him. He wanted him back more than anything.

“That’s what I thought. Now, you need to get up and go talk to him. Neither one of you are happy with this conclusion.”

He knew she was, once again, right. But how would he ever work up the nerve to face him again. 

Silently getting up from his bed, he walked to the door, hesitating as he placed his palm against it.

“..Don’t ever tell him you know."

She only nodded in response, walking out of the door and heading towards her own dorm.

Facing the challenge in front of him, despite his current state, he walked towards he heir’s door.

Swallowing his fears, he rang the bell one last time.

“..P-Please let me in.”

-

He didn't even think. The words from his beloved hit his ears and he was suddenly at the door, opening it for him.

"M-Makoto." He immediately took notice of his puffy eyes and guilt washed down him. 

"What did you want to talk about?" He wanted to wrap him in his arms, hold onto him and never let go so no one could separate them ever again.

-

He let out a shaky breath as he looked up at him, it took everything he had not to burst back into tears. But he had to do this, he had to fix this.

“..U-Us.. I want to t-talk about us.”

-

Oh god. Byakuya didn't know if he had the strength to turn him away again, it was so hard to value his life over everything else whenn he was right there, adorable and begging to be hugged.

"Go ahead." Although trying to keep his words icy, a soft encouragement came out instead.

-

“I...” He was choked up on his words, he didn’t know what he could say to possibly convince him that this was okay.

“...I-I can’t do this... I can’t j-just let you go so easily.” He didn’t think about his words before he said them, they just came out of him.

“..I-I can’t lie and say that I-I’ll be okay if I l-lose you.” His words shook as he he looked up at him.

“I-I love you too m-much to just let y-you go.”

-

Tears that had been forming since Makoto got here finally started falling. He stood there for a minute, sniffling at all the things he had said. He wanted this so, so, badly. Togami found his voice, words coming out hoarse.

"I'm so afraid someone's going to hurt you. I just would never be able to forgive myself if..." his voice drifted off. 

"I love you so much, Makoto. More than you will ever know. I-I'm just so scared-" He cut himself off with another fit of tears.

-

He hesitated for just a moment, but only for a moment as he wrapped his arms around him tight. He tried to comfort him just as he did all that time ago. 

“..Shh.. shh.. Listen.. Listen to me, okay..?”

He rubs his back once again, looking up at him with a reassuring expression and a soft voice.

“..It’s going to be okay.. Listen.. As long as we’re together, no one would ever come after us. They know that they’d get caught if we were both there. And neither one of us would go down without a fight.”

-

Being back in Makoto's arms calmed him down immediately. He didn't know how he thought he could go on without this. Tears fully occupied his eyes now, no longer the gentle falling they were before. The heir whispered as he basked in the warmth of Makoto's arms around him.

"I love you so much.. I love you so, so much..."

-

“I love you just as much..” He held him close, doing anything he could to calm him down.

“Staying apart from each other will o-only hurt us more.”

-

He continued blubbering, words bordering on incoherence. 

"God, I- I said such terrible things to you- I'm so sorry, I- I just wanted to keep you safe, please forgive me-"

Togami squeezed his arms around Makoto, clinging to him like a lifeline. 

"I don't deserve you being so nice to me-"

-

“..Shhh.. I know why you said what you said..” He holds him close, then standing up on his toes as he pecks his forehead.

“It doesn’t change how much I love y-you. I love you so much.. I love you more than the universe itself. And nothing will change that. I’ve given everything of myself to you, because I love you.”

-

His tears finally slowed down, holding his love close.

"Please stay in my dorm tonight. I don't want you wandering around with this new motive."

Truthfully, that wasn't the only reason he wanted to be near Makoto, as he truly wanted to just be near his love tonight, but he was a bit too embarrassed from everything else to say that out loud.

-

“I-I’m not going anywhere, Darling.. Don’t you worry about me..”

He held him close, a slight smile spreading across his lips.

“..I’ll stay here as long as I can.”


	15. Chapter 15

Makoto finally had some freetime after having breakfast with the others, a small yawn escaping him as he stretched. He was still a little tired, another night of restless sleep. It was hard to get to sleep now when Byakuya’s not beside him.

He shook his head to dismiss the thought, replacing it with a list of things he could do with his down time. It wasn’t nearly time for him to visit Byakuya’s dorm or even go looking for him, what to do for now?

Finally coming to his decision, he grabbed the small pile of monocoins that he had been collecting. It was almost like the MonoMono Machine was its own source of entertainment, he never knew what to expect. 

Leaving the dorm and locking the door behind him, he made the trek down to the school store. He shared quick greetings with those he passed in the halls, though none of them had real significance.

It didn’t take long for him to reach the store, but what he found there was even more entertaining. He stifled a chuckle at the sight of Byakuya trying to work the machine, ultimately failing miserably at it.

“‘Need some help there, Mr. Togami~?” He teased, a playful grin spreading across his cheeks.

-

Byakuya was just trying to get his boyfriend a nice gift. Something minor, nothing big. Just something he could give him when he stopped by his dorm today as a token of his affection.

What he received instead was a migraine inducing faulty machine and a weirded out stare from Yasuhiro. 

Oh yeah, and his boyfriend showing up.

"No thank you," he said out of sheer stubbornness.

-

He couldn’t help but laugh at his response, he was just as stubborn as ever. He rolled his eyes, stepping into the store and setting his small pouch on the counter.

“I think you’re having some issues, there~” He pressed, he knew just how to get under his skin. Not in a bad way, per say, just enough to tease him.

“Here, let me get something first~”

-

Byakuya moved out of the spot, giving Makoto the appropriate amount of space.

Had this been more private, he would've slung his arms around Makoto as he worked the machine, sharing the space with him.

But this was at the school store where anyone could walk by, so he resisted.

-

Opening the small pouch he brought with him, he placed a coin into the machine. He loved the random chance of this machine. He could get something totally amazing or something totally average, he never knew!

Turning the dial on the machine, he waited in anticipation for the capsule to pop out of the machine. Once it finally processed his “purchase” he opened the capsule.

His eyes lit up as he looked inside, finding a faux Zoles Diamond Ring. He knew it wasn’t real, but it still was beautiful regardless.

“Huh! Well, I’m really not one for rings, but it still a beautiful stone-“ He turned the ring around his his hands, an expression of awe as he did so. This is why he loved this machine, oh so much.

-

He smiled at the sight of his boyfriend being so starry-eyed. Unable to help himself, Byakuya put an arm around him, something that would seem like a friendly gesture to anyone walking past, but allowed Byakuya to be near his boyfriend. 

"Impressive. I suppose they don't call you lucky for nothing-"

-

“Guess not!” He couldn’t help but laugh as he put the ring back into the capsule, placing it in his pocket for safe keeping. As much as he wanted to go for another round, he was going to let Byakuya go first.

“Now come on, I wanna see what you’ll get!”

-

With that, Byakuya stepped forward and slipped his coin into the dispenser easily, something the machine refused to do before Makoto magically appeared. 

He huffed as he turned the dial, waiting patiently for a capsule to pop out. 

A capsule with a purple lid rolled out, which he popped open. Byakuya raised an eyebrow. 

"A... rock?"

-

He bit back another laugh, trying not to show his amusement. He grabbed another one of his coins and slipped it into the machine, looking back at him.

“..I mean- Maybe it was just a bad roll..” He turned the dial and waited patiently for his next capsule to pop out, this time with a red lid.

Opening the lid, he was taken aback by his next prize. 

“..Is this.. a.. gun???? And a gold one at that-“

-

His eyes widened in recognition. 

"It's a replica of a famous serial killer's favorite gun. They had them specially-made, so this gun has gone down as a symbol of brutal murder-" He continued, a bit too cheery for the sentence he was saying. 

"It's a truly incredible case, no wonder why someone would pay such attention to detail with this replica..." Byakuya trailed off, not looking away from the incredible attention to detail.

-

Despite the background of such a replica, he could listen to him talk about it all day. He didn’t see him so passionate about his interests very often, it was a treat.

With a hint of a smile, he handed it over to him. He would find more use in it than he ever would have.

“Here, you take it- You’d probably like to have it much more than I would!”

-

"...Well, I suppose it only makes sense for me to have it, then-" he said slowly, still not taking his eyes off the replica. He hadn't expected to find something so incredible here. Pocketing the item, he put in another coin and turned the dial.

Cracking open the yellow capsule, a wooden doll popped out with a button on the bottom.

"...What is this?"

-

His face immediately heated up, quickly trying to change the topic as he grabbed another one of his coins.

“..Just a.. Kids toy-“

-

Byakuya pressed the button at the bottom anyways, just to see what it would do. The item began vibrating rapidly in his hand.

"..Ah."

-

The bright red blush across his cheeks didn’t fade as he looked at the item in his hands, then back to the machine.

“..Just a child’s plaything-“

-

Byakuya wordlessly turned off the item and put it away. 

"I believe it's your turn."

-He shook his head as he placed the coin in the machine, turning the dial in hopes of getting something.. less awkward. 

The blue-capped capsule soon rolled out of the machine, and he quickly opened it.

“..Is this.. A washbasin? Why would anyone need this, we have a perfectly good bathhouse-“

-

"I'm not sure," he responded, putting in another monomono coin into the machine. 

A blue capsule rolled out. Byakuya opened it and found a lump of a white material.

"..Is that... salt?"

-

He couldn’t help but slightly laugh, taking another one of his coins and putting it into the machine.

“..I mean, maybe it’ll come in handy??” He shook his head with another chuckle, turning the dial.

A purple capsule rolled out, and he quickly grabbed it, his eyes widening in shock.

“What in the- why is this..” It was.. undergarments, who put this in here.

-

He shouldn't have been surprised. Of course, with Monokuma's sick sense of humor he would put a thong in the gacha machine. 

He silently took the underwear from Makoto's hands and tossed it into a nearby garbage can.

-

He couldn’t help but laugh, slightly covering his mouth at his response. It wasn’t worth even dignifying a response to it. 

He shook his head, I guess he shouldn’t have too too surprised about the.. strange gifts that you could get from the machine. 

He was running a little low on coins himself, turning back to him as he stifled another laugh.

“Let’s see if you can get something better this time-“

-

He rolled his eyes, seriously considering the possibility that the gacha machine was cursed and hated him. He took out a coin. 

"This is my last one," Byakuya said, rolling it into the machine. He twisted the handle and watched as a green-lidded ball rolled out. He popped it open, praying it was something he could seriously use as a gift. 

He was surprised to find a bouquet of sakura blossom branches inside. Without hesitation, he turned to Makoto and handed him the flowers. 

"Finally, a worthy gift for you inside this wretched machine-"

-

His face flushed as he looked down at the bouquet, for being in a gacha machine they were in great condition. A bright smile grew, you could practically see stars in his eyes as he stared down at the bouquet.

Looking back up at him, he was practically bouncing on his toes with a flustered blush.

“..You were trying to get me a gift?”

-

Makoto's expression was adorable, all starry-eyed and joyous. He looked absolutely precious, and Byakuya just wanted to take a picture of his face and treasure it forever. He had to force back a rising smile from his face just because of that sight. 

"Well, of course. Typically I'd want to get a gift from somewhere other than this randomized junk dispenser, but there didn't seem to be any other options."

-

He giggled, fighting the urge to just kiss him right then and there. It was such a sweet gesture, and he had felt bad that he didn’t have anything to give him in return. 

“They’re beautiful.. It’s super sweet, thank you!” Regardless if they were real or not, he wasn’t going to question it.

-

Byakuya faked a cough as an excuse to cover up his smile with a hand. The response made him feel so much lighter despite it being common pleasantries. Makoto just had a way of making everything feel genuine. 

"It's your turn."

-

“Oh! Right..” He gently sat the bouquet down on the counter, grabbing his last coin with a determined expression. This was going to be a good one, he could feel it. 

Putting the coin into the machine and turning the dial, a yellow capsule soon rolled out. Taking a moment to increase the anticipation, he then opened it. His face flushed as he opened it, yet another ring.

However, this one was different.

“..A love-status ring, huh..?”

-

"...Ah." 

His face was most definitely flushed. 

"I see."

-

For a moment he hesitates, his smile growing a bit as he puts the ring on his left hand. He knew he couldn’t wear it for long, but just the thought made his heart soar as he admired it.

He’d give anything to flaunt his new “prize” around, but it simply can’t be that way. Regardless, he loved it to pieces.

“I’m not looking for anything, cause I already found it-“

-

Fuck everything. 

Byakuya quickly darted his eyes around to make sure no one was walking in, and then pressed a quick kiss to his love's forehead. 

"Before you chastise me for being dangerous, I would like to say that you had no business being so adorable with that ring."

-

His face flushed a brighter shade of pink, slightly covering his mouth to muffle the uncontrollable, happy giggles that had escaped him. 

He had no business being a bonafide cutie. He never acted this way around anyone else, and it only filled his stomach with butterflies.

If one thing was for certain, he was definitely getting cuddles later.

“You’re just too sweet.. It’s just a ring, Darling~”

-

The laughter rang in his ears like a beautiful melody. He could listen to those noises of glee nearly every day. 

"You're the one who made a whole show of putting it on and making a speech," he quipped, a grin that had finally broken onto his face softening the words. He couldn't be bothered to put it away.

-

“Well! It’s pretty, and I like it..” His playful mood had returned, looking down at the ring before looking back up to him.

“I like it.”

-

If he hadn't already made such a risky move earlier, he would've ruffled Makoto's hair (and most likely given him another kiss.) 

"It's a good reflection of the other pretty thing you like, I suppose~" he responded, feeling happier with this. A great deal of the tension had lifted, and it was almost like when they could be alone together.

-

He couldn’t help but laugh at the remark, messing with the ring on his finger as he looked up at him. 

They smile still didn’t fade, yet his playful nature began to show through.

“Yes, yes, you’re very pretty, Byakuya~”

-

A laugh escaped him, feeling so genuine and light. 

It took him a moment to sink back down to reality. 

"Well... I have to go now. You'll be stopping by later, I assume?"

-

“Duh, of course I am!” He seemed a little disappointed by their time dwindling so quickly, but it wasn’t like he wouldn’t see him again today.

“I wouldn’t miss out on something like that- Especially not after your gift-“

-

"Good." a smile crept onto his face. 

"I'll see you soon." He turned to leave, noting how unnatural it felt to leave him without giving him a kiss.

-

“Though, not soon enough~” He teased. 

He watched him leave with a small sigh, picking up the bouquet with a smile. He was so much sweeter than he’d ever show to the public.

Looking back at the ring, he knew he couldn’t keep it on much longer, but it hurt to have to take it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the canon divergence tag includes Byakuya not wanting the thong


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Anxiety and mentions of sexual assault

Byakuya's hands shook violently as he turned the corner. He clutched his left hand, trying to replace the violated feeling she had left. 

"She's not here. She can't hurt you," He repeated frantically, trying to ingrain it into his brain.

He sprinted down the hall, forgetting everything around him. It was all shaking and off-kilter, just because of her touch. 

Why couldn't he have handled her touch?

Hyperventilating, Byakuya looked around for somewhere he could go. Somewhere to scream and destroy something and remind himself that she wasn't here.

The signs for the dorms stood in front of him.

Makoto.

Running over to his boyfriend's dorm, he rang the doorbell frantically. Makoto was safe. She couldn't hurt him there. 

He prayed that he was in his dorm.

-

Naegi had been lounging around his dorm, visibly bored as he laid on his back, his head hanging off the edge. He had tried to read that one book that Togami had been reading the day that he had confessed, but he just couldn’t focus on the words. 

He had laid the book face-down on his chest, staring up at his ceiling as he tried to decide what else he could do with his day.

The ringing of the doorbell made his head shot up immediately, nearly falling off his bed in the process. He checked the clock on his wall, it wasn’t time for Byakuya to stop by, so who could it be? 

Adjusting his hair from the unruly mess that it was, he quickly answered the door. 

His heart sunk to his stomach, worry painting his face. He had been greeted by the sight of his boyfriend, which he normally would have been happy to see, yet he was shaking like a leaf.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

“..Byakuya? Come in.” He let him in, quickly shutting the door behind him as he cupped his face in his hands, examining the painful expression that covered that lovely face.

“What happened? Are you okay?” 

Toko. There’s nothing else that it could have been to get him into a state like this.

“..It was her, wasn’t it?”

-

Dread rose from his stomach at the mere allusion. 

"Don't talk about her," he snapped, anger forcing its way out of him. He regretted it instantly, snapping at the person who deserved it least. 

"I can't-" Togami took a deep breath.

"N-Not yet."

-

He was taken aback by the anger behind his words, but it wasn’t like he didn’t understand. 

Naegi tried to keep a calm and level tone, looking up at him with a reassuring expression. The pain in his eyes was ever present, and he’d give anything to calm the storm in his mind. 

Goddamnit.

He shoved down the rage that built inside of him, an overwhelming hate for the author surged throughout him. However, he had to remain calm. He couldn’t show that to him in this moment, his priority was pulling him out of that inner turmoil, making him smile that wonderful smile again.

“..Do you want to lay down? It’s all going to be alright, I’m here for you, okay?”

-

"God, I just- I-I need-" Togami choked on his own words, completely overwhelmed.

He threw his arms around his boyfriend, just needing to be held. He squeezed him tightly, despite the fact that he was still shaking badly.

You're safe here. No one can get to you here.

-

He went silent at this gesture, rubbing his back gently as his tone softened. Almost like coddling a baby back to sleep, he spoke gently and held him softly.

“Shh Darling~ You’re okay. You’re just fine, I’m here. Nothing can get to you here.” His tone was sweet and reassuring.

It broke his heart to see him fall apart like this in his arms. He had to make him smile again, he had to make him feel safe. 

He wasn’t necessarily the most intimidating guy ever, not very physically strong.

But even still. He wasn’t going to let this kind of thing slide from her anymore.

-

Hearing the sweet affirmations from his love helped, but he couldn't stop thinking that they were going to burst through the door any minute, however irrational.

His left hand felt like it had been burned from her touch, violated and unexpected.

It shouldn't have affected him so much, he shouldn't have been so weak, but the touch sent him back nonetheless.

She had said things like her before, acted similarly, but this was completely different. 

But he was in Makoto's arms, he reminded himself. 

Makoto wouldn't do that. 

He would never do what she did.

-

Makoto held the heir close and gently, he still didn’t understand the situation fully. He never understood why exactly Toko caused him such panic, but he’d never press the issue. 

If he wanted to tell him, he’d tell him in time. Even without an understanding of the past events that led to this, he’d comfort him through no matter what. No matter the issue, and no matter what mindset he was in himself.

“..Just breathe, Darling. Try to relax here, no one can get to you here. Shh~”

-

He took a shaky inhale.

"She touched me." 

He was still around Makoto, he didn't want to see his disgust at such a worthless excuse for all this ruckus.

"It was just on the hand, but I didn't..." His voice trailed off, opting to hold Makoto closer instead.

-

The rage bubbled below his surface, he was partially glad that he couldn’t see the anger that painted his face in that moment. He held him even closer, running his hand up his back and into his hair. 

His tone was fairly calming and soft, but a growing rage was hiding behind those words. 

“..You’re safe now. She’ll never touch you, ever again. Trust me when I say that.”

-

Tears formed at the corner of his eyes, focusing on his boyfriend's touch. He wanted to say something else, explain why he couldn't handle her grabbing his hand, but Makoto's arms were so warm and inviting.

So, instead he listened to his boyfriend's calming whispers and began sobbing, sniffling every so often. 

'She'll never touch you, ever again.'

And for a second he believed it.

-

He squeezed him as he felt the tears land on his shoulder. A pain in the pit of his stomach had settled, almost as if his heart had actually sunk to his stomach.

It was heartbreaking to see him this way, he didn’t deserve any of it. He didn’t deserve this. 

“Baby.. Come lay down, get comfortable.. And I’ll be right by your side.”

-

He let go of Makoto slowly and delicately, as if he were afraid they might shatter when they were apart. 

Once again clutching his left hand harshly, he lied down on Makoto's bed. He avoided eye contact, a bit embarrassed to be seen in this state. 

He was supposed to be the incredible Byakuya Togami, it was pathetic for him to be breaking down over someone touching him.

-

He laid down next to him, really getting a look at his expression was tearing his heart in two. After a minute, he rolled over onto his side, clearly having an idea.

“..Give me your left hand.”

-

He unsheathed it from his other hand, instantly feeling the ghost of Toko on it. 

Togami shakily extended it, feeling as if he had been exposed and rendered completely vulnerable.

But he trusted Makoto. He wouldn't hurt him.

-

Makoto gently took his hand in his, softly rubbing his thumb across it as he looked back at him. Completely sincerity could be seen in his eyes, complete reassurance.

He gently placed a kiss on the back of his hand, softly squeezing it as well.

“..Her touch is gone. The only thing that remains is the feeling of our hands intertwined.” He looked him in the eyes, the most comforting expression he could muster had formed in the place of his previous worry.

“This touch is the only one that will remain through it all. No matter what happens. No matter who hurts you, I’ll hold you until the world melts away around us.” 

“As long as I am by your side, no one will ever hurt you like this again.”

-

He smiled sadly, tears forming in his eyes. A small, hopeful part of him believed it. Maybe that's the part of him that fell in love with Makoto in the first place. 

Togami put on a more serious expression, only now feeling stable enough to tell him.

"...One of my half siblings stalked me."

He paused, willing himself to continue the story.

"She idolized me, befriended me, raped me, and left. Toko... reminds me of her."

-

His eyes grew to the size of saucers, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His heart shattered as he continued on with his story.

He squeezed his hand tightly, wordlessly pecking a kiss to his forehead.

“..Byakuya, I.. I’m so, so sorry.”

-

He looked away, avoiding the pity. 

"I'm sure quite a few things make more sense now," he said, already trying to emotionally detach himself to the situation.

"I haven't exactly been subtle," Byakuya continued, trying his best to ignore the tears forming in his eyes.

-

He nodded slightly, moving closer to him as he held his hand tight. He knew Byakuya was never one to receive sympathy well, but he couldn’t act like this wasn’t breaking his heart.

“..Thank you for telling me. I know that must have been so hard to say. I never want to make you uncomfortable, so please be honest with me if something I say or do ends up doing this to you.” It was a genuine fear, knowing what he knew now, he was going to take so many more things into consideration.

-

He nodded, not really in the mood for formality. He just wanted to be near his boyfriend, not be treated like he was about to break at any second. 

Pulling Makoto closer, he lightly nuzzled his neck. He just wanted to be near him and forget about all the awful things that had happened.

"Don't treat me any different because of this, alright?"

-

“Of course not..” He held him close, pecking his forehead as he moved in closer.

“You know I love you to death, right?” He slightly smiled, starting to run a hand through his hair.

“More than life itself~”

-

He simply continued to cuddle Makoto. Byakuya could listen to his boyfriend talk about how much he loved him for hours.

He let out a pleased noise, feeling as he normally did when he was with his boyfriend. 

Everything slowly faded away, and it was just him and Makoto yet again.

-

He enjoyed the blissful silence, the worry in his heart beginning to fade as his love continued to calm down. He’d do just about anything to make him feel safe, make him feel loved. 

He truly meant the world to him. Like he had said before, he was truly his personal hope, his drive.

“..You’re cute when you get all sleepy-eyed-“ It hadn’t taken Togami long to fall back into his sleepy state.

-

"Nnn... You, on the other hand, are cute all the time~" He flirted, eyes still closed and tired. It seemed impossible for him to stay awake with Makoto in his arms.

Lazily extending a hand, Byakuya ruffled his boyfriend's hair. 

"Love you~"

-

Makotos cheeks flushed a bright pink, a small giggle escaping him as he cuddled into him even more.

“Stoppp.. You’re the cute one.” He pecked his cheek in response.

“But, I love you more~” He teased, just enjoying his presence as a whole.

-

Waking himself up a bit, Byakuya put a hand under Makoto's chin and kissed him.

"Can't believe I got the best boyfriend I could ask for~" he murmured, enjoying their newfound peaceful bliss.

-

His face flushed at that comment, moving a bit closer with a playful look and a smile.

“Quit stealing my lines, you dork!” He laughed, looking back into his eyes.

“I got the boyfriend who’s beyond out of my league-“

-

"Shhhhh-" he cut off Makoto in the middle of his sentence and put a finger to his lips. 

"I'm tired of you saying that I'm out of your league, as that makes it sound like I settled for you. And let me assure you of something, Byakuya Togami does not 'settle'." He said, regaining the air of confidence he always did when talking about his family name.

"Now repeat after me. 'Byakuya Togami is madly in love with me, and I deserve nothing less.'"

-

A bright red blush quickly found its way to his cheeks, he looked a little away out of fluster. 

Despite this, he had an obvious smile.

“..Byakuya.. Come on-“

-

"Shhhhhhhh-" He put his finger back to Makoto's lips. 

"I don't settle, Makoto." A grin played on his face. 

"So I want to hear you say it aloud;" he continued, taking his finger back.

-

He playfully sighed, he knew he wasn’t going to let it go until he said it aloud.

The sentence made his face heat up, a bright smile playing at the corners of his mouth. 

He always knew what to say to make him blush.

“..Okay, okay... Byakuya Togami is madly in love with me, and I deserve nothing less.” Saying it aloud only made his face heat up more in fluster, and Byakuya wasn’t even the one saying it to him.

-

"Indeed," he responded, grinning at the sentence. He gave Makoto a quick peck on the cheek before cuddling up to him again. They layed there in a comfortable silence for a while before Byakuya spoke up.

"...I really appreciate you being there for me today."

-

He seemed a little surprised by that, why wouldn’t he be there for him? He was always his priority.

“..Aw.. You don’t have to thank me for that.. I’m always here for you, you know?”

-

He rolled his eyes at Makoto's insistence. 

"Still, I wasn't exactly great company. I made you take care of me as I was shaking and crying in your arms, the least I could do is say thank you," he scoffed, beginning to rake a hand through his hair.

-

He knew there was no debating this with him, a playful sigh escaping him. A content smile crept up his cheeks as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Well, I was glad to help you through it, Love.”

-

He sighed contentedly, newly focused on detangling his love's hair. It was a bird's nest, to be sure, but it was also so undeniably fluffy. When trying to flatten the top piece of his hair though, it continued to shoot straight up. He frowned.

"Darling, does that one piece of hair always stick up like that?"

-

He couldn’t help but laugh, slightly covering his mouth with his hand as he watched Togami continuously try to flatten the piece of hair.

“..Oddly enough, yes. Trust me, I’ve tried everything in the book to make it go down.”

-

Still frowning, he continued to squash the one piece of hair only for it to repeatedly pop back up. 

Finally giving up, he lied back down and said; "I didn't think it was possible for humans to grow an antenna, but here we are,"

-

The fact that he was already in a giggly, cuddly mood didn’t help the giggles that escaped him from the remark.

“It’s not an antenna! Besides, it’s kinda grown on me-“ He pressed down on the piece of hair, only for it to pop back up again.

“There’s no taming it-“

-

He shrugged through half-lidded eyes.

"I'm too exhausted to solve the mystery of your hair antenna right now-" he said, giving it a flick. 

"Now can we get back to cuddling?"

-

He playfully rolled his eyes in response, moving even closer and he rests Byakuya’s chin on top of his head.

“Alright, alright.. C’mere you Cuddlebug-“ He couldn’t help but smile, taking in the warmth and the closeness.

“..I’m assuming you want nap time?”

-

He nodded. "It's been quite an exhausting day," 

He was too tired to even object to the nickname Cuddlebug, or calling it nap time.

-

He only smiled in response wrapping his arms around him as he made himself comfortable.

“Well, I’m not opposed to a nap either. Just get comfortable and don’t start shifting around in your sleep-“ He teased.

-

Byakuya's cheeks turned pink at the comment. 

"You say that like we haven't slept together before," he said, trying to play it off.

-

“Yeah, and we never wake up in the same position!” He laughed, lightly pecking his jaw as he cuddled up to him.

“Though, I guess I can’t blame that solely on you~”

-

"Exactly." he tapped Makoto's nose. 

"You're just as much of a culprit as me~"

-

“And don’t get me started on the mumbling in your sleep either~” He laughed, playfully poking his cheek in return.

“You have your sleeping habits just as bad as I do~”

-

"Oh, be quiet-" he complained, mainly just eager to fall asleep.

"Come on, my love, let's go to sleep now~"

-

His face flushed at the comment, slightly yawning as he realized just how sleepy he was himself.

“Okay, okay. Sleepy time.. C’mere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so more than any of the other chapters, I really want feedback on this one. it's a sensitive topic, and especially considering I don't have any experience with it, I would really like to hear some constructive criticism and such.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya accidentally calls Makoto a Togami and things go downhill

"Makoto, as much as I appreciate the gesture, I really do need that shirt back," Byakuya retorted. 

They had been spending time together in Byakuya's dorm for quite a while, and found themselves in a play-fighting loop, as the two often did. 

Today's topic was the shirt Makoto had taken from Byakuya, which was becoming more and more necessary in his closet.

-

He shot back a playful look as he crossed his arms, putting on a fake pout as he bit back a laugh.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.. I don’t have a shirt of yours.” His tone was playful and bouncy, he had been in a good mood that day.

“Just my own clothes~”

-

Byakuya fitfully rolled his eyes at that, standing up for effect. 

"Makoto Togami, if you don't give me back my shirt-"

Wait.

-

He immediately froze up once he processed the words, a bright blush spreading across his cheeks. The words echoed in his mind.

Makoto Togami.

A goofy smile formed at the thought, looking back at him with a giggle.

“..Togami?”

-

His face turned red instantly. It was just an embarrassing slip of the tongue, but its implications made him blush. 

"I. Uh."

Byakuya stood there, frozen to his spot out of sheer embarrassment.

-

His smile never faltered, you could see the light in his eyes as he looked back to him. 

Makoto Togami. Makoto. Togami.

“...I really like that.” He giggled, thinking a bit more with a brighter red face.

“..I could get used to being called Mr. Togami one day..” He was mostly talking to himself.

-

He softened at the sight of his love so unreasonably happy. 

Sitting back down next to him, Byakuya cuddled up to his love a bit. 

"What a nice fantasy.."

-

His smile morphed to pure confusion, looking back up at him. What did he mean by that. 

Did he not want to get married one day?

“...Fantasy..? What do you mean?”

-

He froze at the words. Byakuya had never truly considered getting married to Makoto one day as anything more than an incredible dream. It's not that he didn't want to, it was just... unrealistic. He cleared his throat, trying to mask his uncomfortable expression.

"Well.. I've told you how the system of selecting an heir goes. No head of the family gets married, especially not to.."

He cleared his throat once again.

-

He immediately froze up at the words, he fought the urge to tell him how he really felt about that.

The original over joyous expression was long gone now, replaced with an expression you couldn’t even explain.

Especially not to...? There’s so many things he could have said in that place.

“...O-Oh.. Right..” His voice shook, his mind overrun with conversations that they had had in the past.

“..T-To choose an heir.. You.. You’ll have t-to..”

-

"Impregnate several wealthy women around the world." The words were coated with disgust. 

To most heads of the family, the setup seemed a dream, having sex with attractive and rich women and then leaving them before any commitment was necessary. But on the contrary, the situation proved to be quite problematic for a gay man in a committed relationship like himself. 

"...I'm not looking forward to it."

-

He couldn’t look him in the eyes after that statement, he couldn’t look at him at all. He’d breakdown, he knew it.

The words echoed in his mind, his heart sunk deep into his stomach. 

His voice grew even shakier as he fought back tears, starting to shake at the words.

He gave him that part of himself, something he’d never give to anyone else. To see such an act just thrown to the wind like that...

“..I-I’m sorry.. I have t-to go.” He quickly got up from the bed, briskly walking to the door and closing it behind him. 

He couldn’t make it back to his dorm before the tears began to fall, running to his dorm before slamming the door shut behind him.

-

"Makoto?" 

It took him too long to react, and before Byakuya knew it, his love was gone. An awful feeling rose inside of him. 

Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to scare him off? He sat there on the bed as a deeper, darker thought came from the depths of his mind. 

You don't deserve him. You knew that this was going to happen, and you purposely led him on.

This is what happens when you get too attached.

-

Locking the door behind him he fell the floor, he couldn’t handle hearing that. He would never be able to handle it.

His sobs were heavy, he shook from his staggered breaths. Why did he have to be so emotional? Why couldn’t he just accept things for what it was?

You’re too naive, too hopeful about things. You knew how his family worked.

He let his heart have too much control, he should’ve never gave into those feelings. He didn’t deserve him. He’d never be enough to stand by his side.

Selfish. He was selfish, thinking he could just waltz in and share his life with him.

God, it hurts.

-

Byakuya wanted so badly to go and comfort his love, but his body felt immeasurably heavy. 

He couldn't move. He was cemented to his spot with the awful thoughts tormenting him.

He had done this to Makoto. He accepted his advances, started a relationship with him. 

He should've never put him in this position.

-

He held his knees close to his chest, his sobs becoming even more violent as he continued. He shook hard, completely overwhelmed by his emotions. 

He just wasn’t enough.

He gripped his knees, words spilling out of him before he could stop them.

“G-Goddamnit!! I-I love you!! I-I love you so f-fucking much!” His voice cracked from his yell, shaking even more violently as his voice grew small.

“I-I wish I could j-just let go. I-It would make your life so much easier.” He couldn’t. He couldn’t just let him go.

His selfish desires wouldn’t let him. 

He made love to him, was that just another one of his naive mistakes? The feelings behind it, the meaning it had to him.

It was all ruined, ruined by a family tradition he couldn’t stop.

-

Maybe he was hearing things, maybe he was just desperate to hear from Makoto.

No matter if it was real or not, he heard his voice.

His lovely voice, yelling at the top of his lungs, strained and painful. 

Byakuya jumped to his feet.

-

He continued to shake violently, completely immobilized by the influx of emotions. He head his face in his hands, resisting the urge to yell out again.

“I-I just want you-! I-I don’t c-care if I lose e-everything else.. I-I-” He broke back into his sobs, his voice sore from his yell.

“I-I’m sorry..”

-

Swinging open his door, he ran across the hallway. 

For once in his life, Byakuya was only focused on one thing. He wasn't calculating the aftermath of his actions, he couldn't. It wasn't important when Makoto was on the line. 

Ringing the doorbell, he stood anxiously.

-

He jumped at the sound of the bell, keeping his back pressed against the door. He couldn’t hide the shakiness in his voice, which only made him feel worse.

The last thing he needed to do was sorry someone, especially if it were him.

“..W-Who is I-I-.. It?”

-

"Please open the door." His voice came out weaker than usual, a small quiver. 

Makoto sounded bad, he had clearly been crying. His voice sounded torn, clearly from the yelling. Byakuya stood at the door, seconds feeling like hours. All he wanted was to hold him in his arms and make everything alright.

-

The weakness in his voice caught him off guard, he couldn’t pry himself up from the spot.

Guilt coiled around his throat like a snake, constricting him. His shaking grew heavier, choking back more tears as he didn’t move from his spot.

“..I-It’s okay B-Byakuya.. D-Don’t w- hic w-worry about me..”

-

He felt his stomach drop further. Ignoring the tears beading up in his eyes, Byakuya pressed himself closer to the door. 

"M-Makoto, please." It sounded truly desperate, a noise he had never heard himself make. 

"My love... please let me in."

-

The desperation in his voice was the breaking point for him, he couldn’t worry him. At least not more than he already was.

On shaky legs he stood up from the floor, his face red and puffy, completely tear stained.

He wasn’t fit for him to see, by any means, but he couldn’t deny him.

He slowly unlocked the door, opening it as he avoided eye contact.

“..I-I’m so s-sorry, Byakuya..”

-

He was sorry?

"What could you possibly be sorry about, love?" he asked, still standing in the doorway, waiting to be let in. 

Byakuya didn't even notice his tearstained face and puffy eyes, it wasn't important. 

What was important was comforting him.

-

He quickly wiped his eyes, despite the on-pouring of tears. He felt horrible, making him worry, storming off like that.

“..I-I’m sorry I j-just left y-you..” His voice continued to shake, stepping out of the way for him to step in.

“..Th-The thought of y-you doing.. S-Such..” He couldn’t finish his sentence before bursting back into tears.

“I-I know it’s selfish.. B-But.. G-God, p-please hold m-me.” His voice was weak a small, almost like the voice of a lost child. He was broken down.

-

Stepping into Makoto's dorm, Byakuya wrapped his arms around him immediately. 

Gently cradling him, he drew swirls on Makoto's back with one hand, a gesture Byakuya knew he found comforting. 

"Shhh~ It's okay, I've got you~"

-

He wrapped his arms around him tightly, almost as if he let go he would crumble before him. 

He buried his face in his shoulder, muffled sobs coming from him as he shook in his arms.

“I-I-I’m sorry... I-..”

-

"You don't have to explain anything to me, love. I understand," He coaxed, holding his love as close to him as possible. 

Thinking about what he could do to calm Makoto down, he started to hum the opening notes to Love Like You.

He began gently singing the lyrics to him, hoping the memory would bring him some peace. 

"If I could begin to be half of what you think of me~"

-

He held him even closer as the familiar melody filled his senses, that calming voice. It never mattered what the situation was, the voice always grounded him.

His shaking had began to die down, though he clinged to him like his life depended on it.

“I-I could d-do.. A-About anyth-thing..” He couldn’t quite sing it, given the state of his voice mixed with his sobs, yet the words came from him regardless.

-

Hearing his love try to sing along made his heart swell. He put the hand that wasn't rubbing his back in his hair, gently scratching Makoto's scalp. 

Byakuya would do just about anything to communicate his love for him in that moment. 

"I could even learn how to love like you~"

-

He leaned in against him as close as he could, letting himself be entirely vulnerable in that moment.

It was okay to show how you’re really feeling, even if it’s negative. Especially to him.

“..Wh-When I s-.. S-See.. The way y-you act.. hic”

-

Byakuya let a small laugh at the hiccup, pressing a kiss to Makoto's forehead. 

"-If I'm coming back, I would do about anything,"

-

He was finally coming back down from it all, a wave of relief was washing over him.

All due to his presence. He tried to sing once again, despite the slight shakiness still apparent in his voice.

“..I-I could even l-learn how to l-love, like you~”

-

As the instrumental came up, Byakuya gently rocked them from side to side. 

"I love you more than you'll ever know."

"I always thought I might be bad, now I'm sure that it's true, cuz I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you~"

-

His face was tinged with pink from his comment, looking back up at him with a weak smile. He sang softly, just enough for him to hear him.

The tone was sweet and gentle, as if he were trying to sing a lullaby.

“L-Look at you go, I just adore you, I wish that I knew~” He drew out the last few lines, holding onto him even tighter.

“What makes y-you think I’m so.. Special~..”

-

The small smile made Byakuya feel like he was floating, and his gentle singing voice could coax him asleep. He was so perfect in every way. 

He pressed a small kiss against his lips, small and delicate and perfect. 

"If I could begin to be half of what you think of me, I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love like you~"

-

He had managed to bring him back down entirely, nothing else mattered in that moment. 

Just him. His voice, his smile, everything. He was so amazingly perfect in all his ways.

His tone remained soft and delicate, just like the smile that had taken over the face of a boy who had once been sobbing.

“When I s-see, the way you act, wondering when I’m coming back.. I could do about anything~ I could even learn how to love~”

He gently placed a kiss to his lips, holding his cheek in his hand. His entire being felt delicate, as if one must be gentle and soft, otherwise he would shatter.

“..Like you.”

-

He stayed in the moment for just a while longer. His head was bowed down, and his eyes were closed, a blissful expression crossing his face. He stood like that a couple more minutes before gesturing towards the bed. 

"Come on, let's cuddle there."

-

He nodded silently, soon walking over to the bed when a thought hit him.

“J-Just one moment, L-Love..” He walked over to his bedside table, grabbing the white dress shirt that he had “borrowed” from him weeks ago.

He quickly changed from his current outfit, making himself comfortable in the comically large shirt.

It covered him entirely, so he didn’t both with pajama pants of any kind. 

He laid down on his bed, motioning to the spot next to him with the same weak smile.

“Now I’m ready..”

-

He cuddled up to his chest with a brighter red face, hiding his fluster as he leaned into him.

“I think you have o-our roles mixed u-up, Love~”

-

His smile only grew wider as he watched Makoto cling to his chest, one of Byakuya's favorite ways to cuddle. 

"Perhaps you're rubbing off on me," he responded, draping his arms around Makoto.

-

He squeezed him a bit in response, using a slightly playful tone.

“Ohh.. Don’t steal it from me, luck’s all I got-“ He couldn’t help but softly laugh, lightly rubbing his chest with his hand.

-

"Mmm~" His eyes became half-lidded quickly, finally getting a moment of peace in all this. 

"Listen, about what I said..."

-

He cut him off, looking back up at him slightly. This was hard, it was going to be hard for both of them. 

And yet, he couldn’t just let him go because of complications.

“..Hey.. Just because I’ll never officially be Makoto Togami, doesn’t mean I won’t act like I am every single day.”

-

His heart swelled with pride at the statement. 

"Spoken like a true Togami."

-

His face flushed a much brighter red at the comment, that once weak smile starting to grow.

A true Togami, huh?

“..Well, I’m willing to deal and do whatever it takes to stay by your side. I mean that.”

-

He pulled Makoto into a tighter hug at that. 

"Thank you. I love you so, so much."

-

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, he leaned in even closer.

“I love you more than you could ever know~” He laid by him for a while, thinking a bit with a playful smile.

“I mean, Makoto Togami sounds better than Byakuya Naegi~” He teased.

-

Byakuya rolled his eyes at the teasing.

"Oh, be quiet-" he said, promptly pulling Makoto into a deep kiss. 

He had missed this.

-

He held his face in his hands as he kissed him back, bushing a bit of Byakuya’s hair out of his face.

He needed this. He needed him. He pulled away after a while, he had to talk to him about something.

“..I’m sorry I got so sensitive about.. The process of choosing an heir it’s just..” He cut himself off with a small sigh, pecking his lips once again as he looked back at him.

-

"-It's understandable. It's quite a bomb I dropped on you, don't feel guilty about your reaction," He answered. 

He could see how it would be hard to react well to "I have to impregnate several women and I'm not allowed to marry you."

-

He cuddled up to him a bit more, slightly squeezing him as he looked back up to him.

“..Those intimate moments between us mean a lot to me.. It’s a bonding experience that I only want to experience with you. I.. Wanted my first to be you because.. I knew you were the one. I knew you loved me just as much as I loved you.”

-

Byakuya went silent at that. He never knew how truly important those moments were to Makoto.

Instead, he found Makoto's hand and laced them together. 

He couldn't find the right words, so he curled around Makoto, holding him close.

-

He cuddled up to him a bit more, pecking his cheek as he squeezed his hand. He loved him so very, very much. He wished he could show it more.

“....I just don’t want them to feel insignificant to you, after what you’ll have to deal with.”

-

He pressed a kiss to his hand, trying to be reassuring. 

"Love, they won't feel insignificant. I cherish every moment I spend with you, and nothing anyone could ever do could make that feel insignificant."

-


End file.
